Arts & Entertainment

Listening to audiobooks 'does not count as reading'

LISTENING to audiobooks does not count as reading, the publishing industry has confirmed.

Are you enough of a gobsh*te to be on Question Time?

BBC Question Time has faced criticism for the idiots it gives airtime to. So are you enough of a gobsh*te to be on the panel or in the audience? Take our test.

Is your song bland enough for Radio 2?

SONGS aiming for the lucrative Radio 2 playlist have to be bland enough to offend no-one while remaining just about memorable. Here’s how to make your ditty dull enough to soar.

There will never be a ginger Bond, confirm producers

PRODUCERS of the James Bond franchise have confirmed that there will never be a ginger Bond for as long as they have any say in the matter.

Man unable to stop watching TV show he hates

A MAN who has grown to hate a TV show refuses to miss a single episode, it has emerged.

Honestly it's nothing to do with that f**khead Hollywood, says Toksvig

SANDI Toksvig has denied that her departure from The Great British Bake Off was anything to do with ‘that preening w*nkshaft Paul Hollywood’. 

The must-read sh*te children's books for 2020

WHAT dreadful books lie in wait in children’s schoolbags this year?

Festival of Brexit cancelled due to everything about it

A FESTIVAL to promote Brexit has been cancelled because it was an incredibly terrible idea on every level, the organisers have revealed.

Meghan to write self-help book about nightmare in-laws

THE Duchess of Sussex’s first financial venture will be a self-help book focused on co-existing with nightmare in-laws.

Book with biggest impact on man's life is microwave user manual

A MAN has confirmed that the book which changed his life forever is the user manual for his microwave oven.

'Christmas telly' is not a thing, young people confirm

YOUNG people have confirmed that Christmas telly is not a thing and they do not understand why their parents think it is.

Watching 'Elf' make everything better

ELF film and booze make everything  nice, thinks tired Britain.