Arts & Entertainment

Adele launches combined album and diet plan

ADELE has announced that she is releasing a new album of heartbroken songs with which listeners can shed 30 pounds in just 12 weeks.

A step-by-step guide to pretending to enjoy a gig

AFTER 18 months without live music, gigs have resumed but many people may have forgotten how to pretend that’s a good thing.

Zoomer doesn't understand youth culture either

A ZOOMER is just as baffled by his generation’s youth culture as you are, he has confirmed.

Five gammon fantasies about the new 'woke' Bond film he's refusing to watch

THE old James Bond wasn’t afraid to charm ladies with a slap or quip about shifty orientals. Despite not having seen No Time To Die, gammon Roy Hobbs explains what’s wrong with it.

Harry Styles, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Stormzy: who are the frontrunners to be the next James Bond and/or Doctor Who?

THE positions of James Bond and Doctor Who are simultaneously vacant, but who will step in to save the world and/or the galaxy?

How to pretend you've seen The Sopranos

WITH the prequel hitting cinemas, there’s never been a more crucial time to claim you’ve seen The Sopranos.

'We will still f**k' promise unvaccinated Strictly dancers

THE professional dancers on Strictly who have refused Covid vaccines have reassured the nation that they will still f**k their celebrity partners.  

Raising the ghost of Oswald Mosley: how to save GB News

GB NEWS has lost leading man Andrew Neil and is haemorrhaging viewers as even Farage is tired old repeats. Can anything save it?

Every once good thing now ruined by fans of that thing

EVERY positive addition to the cultural canon has now been irreparably destroyed by its own fans, a new study has found.

TalkSport presenter and other dickhead jobs Andrew Neil could do now

ANDREW NEIL is unemployed after jacking in GB News just three months after he started it. What dickhead job could he do next?