Arts & Entertainment

Ideal if you love masturbating to evil in an empty cinema: We review the Melania movie

A MULTI-MILLION dollar documentary about Melania, the woman lucky enough to be the wife of president Trump, has been released. Here’s our review:

We ask you: Is £1,600 to see Harry Styles live a bargain or an absolute steal?

HARRY Styles is charging £1,600 a ticket for his upcoming Wembley gigs and fans are thrilled at the reasonable pricing. Is it enough?

Shuttershades, and five other things Kanye is yet to apologise for

KANYE West has issued a lengthy apology for his anti-Semitism, blaming his mental illness. But the world has yet to forgive him for these.

Nigella applies to be officially not sexy

NIGELLA Lawson, aged 66, has joined The Great British Bake Off in the hope it will end her status as the nation’s favourite MILF.

We ask you: which Oscar-nominated film will you grudgingly watch this weekend?

THE Oscars have been announced, and by law you are required to watch a film nominated for Best Picture. Which one are you grimacing your way through?

Mum would enjoy The Traitors more if there was no betrayal

A MUM has admitted she would like The Traitors more if everyone was honest and got along.

The Police, and other bands you're not in any way surprised hated each other

THE music industry is known for making people who are already dickheads worse. But these artists were so egotistical or strange it’s a wonder they managed to make any music together.

Six tracks that simulate orgasm more convincingly than your girlfriend

IDLY listening to music when you realise the gasps and moans enacted by clothed women in recording studios are more believable than last night’s performance? She should study these.

Middle-aged man at gig dancing with arms folded

A MAN in his mid-40s is enjoying a gig by dancing with his arms firmly crossed, it has emerged.