Arts & Entertainment

CERTAIN fictional universes have been so polluted with mediocre new content you’re wondering what you ever saw in them. Such as these.

JEREMY Clarkson has made such a success of his farm that in his new series he engages in sexual congress with a sheep so nobody notices.

HEADPHONES in the office? But real, good music too distracting? These meticulous peddlers of dullness have created oeuvres with your eight-hour shift in mind.

MARRIED At First Sight has shocked viewers by horribly and openly exploiting participants. Which reality show are you convincing yourself it’s okay to watch instead?

HORROR movie The Backrooms is being praised by critics for its clever liminal concept, but will audiences agree? Here are more terrifying ideas that don’t stand up to much scrutiny.

SHERLOCK Holmes is always inspiring new stories, so who better to solve the mystery of Katie Price’s missing husband Lee? Or will this impenetrable case stump even the famous sleuth?

SERIOUS allegations are hanging over Channel 4’s Married at First Sight, but it’s not the first reality show to see nothing wrong with engineering appalling situations. Like these:

JOSH Widdicombe’s casting as the new Strictly Come Dancing host? Just the latest BBC box-ticking exercise. Specifically these.

WANT to barely scrape last place at Eurovision year after year with entries that genuinely make you ashamed? Learn from the country that has perfected the art.

THE Eurovision Song Contest is a safe space away from any political leanings, which is why Ukraine beat Sam Ryder in 2022. How will you keep it that way?