Arts & Entertainment

'Has it got subtitles?' How to talk your way out of watching any movie

REGRETTING agreeing to sit down and watch a film tonight? Here's how to make sure you don't get past the first five minutes.

The literary classics you've only read because they made you at school

YOUR first encounter with great literature is always to be treasured, unless you were forced to read it by a twat teacher for an English Lit GCSE you failed.

Eight 80s bands that were 80 per cent haircut

IT’S technically impossible for a sound to have a mullet – and yet 80s music persisted. These artists were roughly 4:1 on the haircut to music front.

Nigella Lawson's guide to making a glass of water

AS WE move into the autumn months, I’m turning away from summery Pimms and Aperol Spritzes to year-round favourites – and what’s more classic than a glass of water?

ABBA not a proper reunion because it's not grey-haired old men with guitars

THE ABBA reunion does not count as a proper one because it’s not grey-haired old blokes with guitars, men have confirmed.

Six routinely bullshit things that happen in every movie

COULD Tom Cruise scale the Burj Khalifa wearing digital gloves? Of course he f**king couldn’t, but it’s no less believable than these things we simply accept.

Covid-19 leaves Reading Festival early muttering 'I didn’t think it’d be this f**king rough'

THE Covid-19 virus has left the Reading Festival a day early admitting it had underestimated just how f**king rough it would be.

Five romantic heroes who would definitely not be like that in real life

DO you find the leading men in romantic films completely unbelievable? That’s because they are. Here’s how they’d be in real life.

Othello is black: six carefully hidden woke messages in Shakespeare plays

THINK you love The Bard? You won’t when you find out he’s been hiding woke ideology in his plays for centuries. Right-wing historian Denys Finch Hatton explains.

The six bollocks superhero movies that will kill the genre

SUPERHERO movies have hit such a low that next week’s is Shang-Chi from 70s comic Master of Kung-Fu. And they’ll only get worse.