Arts & Entertainment

Covent Garden, and other places Londoners are horribly smug about never visiting

ALTHOUGH people who live in London are obsessed with telling you how amazing it is, there are plenty of places in it that are beneath them. Like these.

Culture war veteran holds two minutes' silence for problematic TV

A VETERAN of Britain’s bloody culture wars is holding a two minutes’ silence for the TV shows which fell to the onslaughts of the woke.

The top six middle-class wanks

MIDDLE CLASS? Thinking of lying back and treating yourself to a bit of a strum? Here are six social-status-suitable self-abuse scenarios.

Kasabian and other bands who started well but went to shit

IT'S baffling how some bands are brilliant when they start out, only to rapidly descend into garbage. Like these prime examples…

Dad being weirdly possessive over Kate Bush

A MAN whose son got into 'Running Up That Hill' after hearing it on Stranger Things is being weirdly possessive over having heard of Kate Bush first.

Six songs with euphemistic lyrics that are definitely about drugs and sex

IF the lyrics to any song are even slightly ambiguous, that’s not because the composer was struggling to find rhymes. It’s because they’re about filthy vices.

Knobhead plays Knebworth

ONE of the UK’s biggest knobheads will today perform at one of the UK’s biggest concert venues.

Worth camping out for, says f**king nutcase

A DAZZLED Royal-watching nutter has proclaimed that the Jubilee has proved well worth camping on the Mall and crapping in carrier bags for.

'I heard a podcast about that': Five signs you're about to be lectured by a twat

TRYING to have a conversation with an irritating acquaintance? As soon as you hear any of these, brace yourself for a sort of shit mini-lecture.

Five shitty soft rock songs you're forced to sing along to in your head

THESE power tunes by poncey-haired soft metal bands have become stuck in your head and can never be removed. And your brain has decided it’s going to sing along.