Arts & Entertainment

The Crystal Maze, and other shows you're stupid enough to think you'd be brilliant at

DO you spend all your time sitting on the sofa, eating crisps and saying 'I could do that?'. Here are some shows you'd make an utter twat of yourself on.  

Next John Lewis ad to show boy torn apart by millions of hatching alien eggs on Christmas morning

A FOLLOW-UP to the new John Lewis ad will show a trusting young boy screaming as millions of invasive alien eggs hatch from his body on Christmas Day.

Robin Hood, and other fictional heroes that would be insufferable twats in real life

STEALING from the rich and giving to the poor is all very well, but it makes for long nights in Sherwood Forest with a moralistic braggart. And these f**kers wouldn’t be any fun either.

Man who hates Doctor Who going to watch every second of it

A MAN who claims to hate Doctor Who is going to spend the evening watching every second of it.

The sickeningly embarrassing first records you ever bought

IF the first record you bought was the Undertones you still probably show off about it. But it wasn’t. It was one of these horrors you prefer to keep quiet about.

Six infuriating film endings that can just f**k off

HAVE you wasted precious time and money watching films that were not great, only to be insulted by an idiotic cliched ending? Here are some that need to stop.

Five reasons Liverpool should get over The Beatles

LIVERPOOL is to get £2 million to set up yet another Beatles attraction. Here’s why the city should move on from this obscure, rarely-discussed band.

Rylan and other celebrities too weird to be real

CELEBRITIES are better than you. Some of them are also really f**king weird. Here are five that are surely an elaborate act.

15 things being asked on Quora that prove humanity is doomed

DO you sometimes browse Q&A sites like Quora and wikiHow? And then wonder if humanity has gone mad? Here’s a sample of the most troubling questions.

Women tricked into watching film about giant alien sandworms

WOMEN are to spend this weekend being conned into watching a sci-fi epic about sandworms, spice trading and extraordinary mental powers.