Arts & Entertainment

'I heard a podcast about that': Five signs you're about to be lectured by a twat

TRYING to have a conversation with an irritating acquaintance? As soon as you hear any of these, brace yourself for a sort of shit mini-lecture.

Five shitty soft rock songs you're forced to sing along to in your head

THESE power tunes by poncey-haired soft metal bands have become stuck in your head and can never be removed. And your brain has decided it’s going to sing along.

Six BBC shows given a gratuitous Jubilee twist

THE BBC is bound by law to make a big f**king deal of the Jubilee, so here are six shows it’s shoe-horning the celebration into:

Which Love Island contestants merit a wank in the shed? A Daily Mail guide

THE Daily Mail’s breathlessly contemptuous coverage of Love Island still answers the key question for its readers: which of the cast are worth a tug in the shed?

Islands In The Stream: the songs twat couples call 'their song'

DOES a generic love song made to shift units adequately describe your devoted relationship? Is it one of these?

Six films where love saves everything, unlike in real life

IN movies love is the great solution that saves lives and worlds, unlike in real life where it’s kind of a pain in the arse. These films lie:

Man at club urinal asked how his night's going

A MAN has been asked if he is having a good night in the totally appropriate environment of a piss-soaked club urinal.

Deeply boring people finally represented on TV thanks to Conversations with Friends

BORING people with the personalities of wet bread are celebrating finally getting public recognition thanks to the BBC series Conversations with Friends.

Under Pressure, and other classic karaoke songs you will absolutely butcher

THINK you're an amazing singer who smashes it at karaoke? Prepare to realise how shit you actually are when you attempt these classics.

The five stages of getting sucked into a really shit TV show

FROM slagging off your partner for watching it to staying up all night to finish the series, these are the stages of getting stupidly invested in a dreadful telly programme.