Arts & Entertainment

Oasis fans rightfully divested of money better spent elsewhere

INTERNET scammers have performed the public service of removing wealth from Oasis fans and returning it to the wider, non-Oasis-based economy.

We don't want to go to a f**king music festival, children confirm

MUSIC festivals are boring, tiring and you are an arsehole when you are drunk, children have told their parents.

The Ting Tings, and six other bands who'll struggle to fill a 40-minute festival set this summer

SUMMER is approaching, and with it music festivals booking legacy acts for lazy nostalgia draws. These acts will stretch out their 15 minutes of fame for an excruciating 40.

The Long Good Friday, and other woefully inappropriate Easter family films

BORED of chocolate eggs and Jesus? Why not watch someone nailed to the floor of an East End warehouse instead? Here are some questionable family movies for the Easter weekend.

All rides at UK Universal theme park to be Carry On themed

EVERY single ride at the UK’s Universal theme park will be based on bawdy films laced with tortuous double entendres, it has emerged.

The woman not climaxing: Realistic sex acts Sabrina Carpenter could simulate onstage

SABRINA Carpenter has been criticised for simulating oral sex onstage despite her young fanbase. But her concerts could be a valuable learning experience if she just portrays sex realistically. Like this…

Woman never realised musicals were that shit

A WOMAN who had never been to a musical before had no idea they were quite so awful, she has admitted.

Busker playing Nine Inch Nails has really misjudged tone of high street

A BUSKER has been disappointed to find that angsty, melancholic dirges are not the best way to solicit money from the average small-town shopper.

They're making a film about Ringo

A MAJOR Hollywood studio is making a biopic of the so-called ‘fourth Beatle’ Ringo Starr, it has emerged.