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Arts & Entertainment

Wellard, and six other EastEnders characters that should make a shock 40th anniversary return

TONIGHT’S 40th anniversary episode of EastEnders will delight misery-loving viewers when these familiar faces appear on the Square.

Doctor Who to go back in time and kill wokeness before it kills him

DOCTOR Who is to travel back in time back to 2017 and destroy his woke era in its cradle before it overwhelms and destroys him.

F**k: nepo baby actually really good

A CELEBRITY handed everything by her Hollywood dad is also unhappily talented, it has emerged.

Six lessons you're expected to learn from the new Bridget Jones film: a guide for men

BEING forced to watch Bridget Jones: Mad About A Fourth Instalment by a wife or girlfriend? These are the lessons you are expected to learn.

Manic Street Preachers, and other bands who think they're so bloody clever because they've read a book

ROCK ‘n’ roll is supposed to be big, dumb fun but someone always has to come along and ruin it by adding a reading list. None of these acts are as smart as they think.

Beyonce fans accidentally buy Black Sabbath tickets and vice versa

THOUSANDS of Beyoncé fans have mistakenly been sold tickets for Black Sabbath’s final gig, and vice versa.

'Perhaps not Kanye West today,' reflects salesman driving to Warrington

Disgraced TV chef not one of ours for a f**king change, cheers BBC

THE BBC is jubilant after learning that the next disgraced TV chef to dominate the news works mainly for ITV.

Five recap sentences that make you thank God you don't follow the soaps

SOMETIMES you read ‘Sonia is pregnant with Jamie’s baby unaware that he killed his ex-wife though her sister confessed’ and thank God you were spared this soap plot. These are actual storylines: 

Black Sabbath, and other artists who aren't as good once you're past puberty

OZZY Osbourne and Black Sabbath have announced their final tour. But some artists are best enjoyed when you have yet to reach sexual, and definitely mental, maturity. Like these.