WITH Virgin Island Channel 4 has discovered that sexual awkwardness means viewing figures, and all on the cheap. These will soon be monetised for TV:
Cuck Sanctuary
Filmed at a wellness retreat in the Cotswolds, Cuck Sanctuary will follow men in the build-up, during and aftermath of watching their wives getting railed by a stranger from Tinder. Like every other Channel 4 reality show about sex, it’ll balance salacious details with a thoughtful, heartfelt message about true love so you don’t feel like a pervert.
Living With a Chode
The X-rated answer to Child of Our Time, this documentary series will look into the lifestyles of men born with short-but-thick penises and the hardships they face on a daily basis. The recurring body positivity lesson will be that size doesn’t matter, even events will very clearly show that it does. Will include Welsh representation.
Anals Of History
Late-night quiz that makes Naked Attraction look like family viewing. Each week a contestant guesses who out of an anonymous group has taken a delivery through the back entrance. Tony Robinson is already attached as host to give it a classy edge.
Watching Porn With My Mum
Everyone has a mum, and everyone watches porn, so this social experiment explores what happens when the two worlds collide. In each heartfelt episode, a mum and son sit down to watch the most played videos in their PornHub history together. Will a man awkwardly explaining what futanari means bridge the generational divide? You’ll watch to find out.
F**k Show
Tired of dressing up sex in intellectual trappings, Channel 4 will give the public what it clearly wants in F**k Show: 30 minutes of boning only broken by adverts. No dialogue. No presenter or feelgood takeaway. Just half an hour of meaningless, sweaty shagging as a lovely palette cleanser after Grand Designs.
