Arts & Entertainment

Anne Robinson already preparing sarcastic bollocks for Countdown

ANNE Robinson is enthusiastically preparing snide put-downs based on word puzzles and maths problems after being confirmed as the new host of Countdown.

Vinyl album still in shrinkwrap four years after purchase wondering what the f**k's going on

A VINYL LP that has languished unopened since being bought by a nerdy record collector is wondering if it will ever be taken out of its sleeve.

Mark Kermode's pretentious review of an empty cinema

CINEMAS have been pushing boundaries recently by showing f**k all. Mark Kermode reviews their minimalist content.

Woman desperate to be Angel from Escape to the Chateau

A WOMAN has decided she has had enough of her own life and would like to be Angel from Escape to the Chateau instead.

Six embarrassing 80s hits you won't admit you secretly love

WOULD you be mortified if people knew which cheesy 1980s songs you listen to on your own? Here are the shameful musical secrets on your YouTube playlist.

Friend wants you to watch show that only gets good in season seven

A FRIEND is trying to convince you to watch a programme that only starts to get interesting during its seventh season.

A gammon's guide to poetry

AS A Wetherspoons daytimer and West Ham fan, you can trust me when I tell you poetry isn’t just for girls and Scots anymore. But before you write your Ode to Brexit, there’s a few things you should know.

Laurence Fox fails audition to play himself in pandemic drama

LAURENCE Fox has been rejected for the role of Laurence Fox in an upcoming Sky drama about the coronavirus.

Six reasons why movie sex scenes are bollocks

KEIRA Knightley has said she will no longer appear in sex scenes directed by men. But how does Hollywood get sex so wrong, and how could it be fixed?

Five shows you don't need to watch the middle of

PUSHED for time? Bored of all the padding in a typical hour-long show? Here are five you can safely fast-forward through the middle 40 minutes of.