Celebrity

How little of a shit should you give about Beckxit? A guide

IT’S increasingly difficult to avoid the tiresome tabloid celebrity drama ‘Beckxit’. Find out how little it matters in the scheme of things with this guide.

P Diddy's guide to hosting a sexually depraved garden party

ORGANISING a garden party raises many questions. Finger food or a barbecue? How much wine should I buy? Should I chill the Rohypnol? Luckily renowned party host Sean 'Diddy' Combs is here to advise.

Seven coded messages Kate is sending out through her clothing choices

LIKE a spy deep undercover, the Princess of Wales sends coded messages to the world via her choice of trouser suits. These are the most recent.

Pope and Antichrist both now from Chicago

GOD’s representative on earth and the current manifestation of the Antichrist are now both Chicagoans, it has emerged.

We ask you: how did you survive the Posh and Becks years without going insane?

DAVID Beckham is 50, sending most of the nation into PTSD flashbacks of life under the relentless bombardment of publicity about him and his wife. How did you survive?

You're going to copy my hair and it's going to look shit, says Kate

PRINCESS Kate has informed you that your upcoming attempt to imitate her gorgeous blonde highlights will look awful.

Liz Hurley and Hugh Grant: celebrity couples who should be forced back together to please the public

DOES Liz Hurley’s new relationship anger you, because she should still be with Hugh? Should that be made to happen whether they want it or not, along with these?

We ask you: why were you scandalously left off the guest list for the Pope's funeral?

EVERYONE who is anyone is at the funeral of Pope Francis today, except you. What happened to your invite?