Celebrity

I've met some dickheads in my time but wow, says Queen

THE Queen is marvelling that, after 66 years on the throne, she has just met the biggest knobhead of her reign so far.

Cleese leaving UK due to running out of things to moan about

JOHN Cleese is to quit the UK because he has finally run out of things that displease him about this country.

I made £600 million from racist jokes in the 80s, says Lord Sugar

ALAN Sugar has defended an offensive tweet by saying nobody minded when he built a business empire selling racist jokes in the 1980s.

David Dimbleby refusing to ask or answer any questions for rest of life

DAVID Dimbleby has confirmed that he will not be asking or answering any questions for the rest of his life.

Far-right distancing itself from Morrissey

EXTREME right-wing groups have sought to distance themselves from the increasingly unhinged former lead singer of The Smiths.

We go to the Maldives and the children go to Pontins, says Kirstie Allsopp

KIRSTIE Allsopp has explained that she and her husband regularly fly to the Maldives while her children go to Pontins in Prestatyn.

Jamie Oliver calls for ban on eating

JAMIE Oliver plans to combat obesity by banning people from eating food.

Richard Dawkins joins cast of Love Island

RICHARD Dawkins will take part in the new series of Love Island, it has emerged.