Prince William at 40: what a waste of a life

PRINCE William turns 40 today, and have four decades on this earth ever been so squandered?

Don't make me go on Love Island, warns Prince Andrew

THE Duke of York has warned senior Royals that he does not want to go on Love Island but he will if he has to and he will f**king win.

Prince William homeless after Queen changes succession to make Andrew heir

PRINCE William is selling the Big Issue on the streets after his grandmother announced he and his line are disinherited.

I went too hard on day one, Queen admits

THE Queen has admitted she ruined her own Platinum Jubilee celebrations by going far too hard on the first day.

'Stop showing off you little bastard': A lip reader reveals the charming royal chatter

THE media have taken to using lip readers to discover what the royals are saying from a distance. Here Nikki Hollis explains what was said on the Buckingham Palace balcony.

10 small but effective ways Prince Andrew could make amends

THE Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, has revealed Prince Andrew is trying to make amends for his reckless youth when he was a mere strip of a lad in his 50s. Here are some suggestions.

Queen requests Britain take it easy this weekend in preparation for four-day Jubilee bender

HER Majesty the Queen has ordered her subjects to drink in moderation this weekend in readiness for their four-day Platinum Jubilee session.

How to make a celebrity death all about you

THE death of a beloved celebrity is always sad. Make things even worse by putting yourself at the centre of the story with these tips.

Horsey-horsey better than parliament, says Queen

THE Queen has confirmed that, aged 96, she sees more point to watching a load of horses gallop in circles than going to parliament.

Wayne Rooney's courtroom diary

REBEKAH Vardy’s libel case against Coleen Rooney has begun. If you’re still not sure what the f**k it’s about, don’t worry - her husband Wayne is here to explain the legal intricacies.