Celebrity

KING Charles is to instruct the nation to look around at their family, decide who the bastard is and send them into exile in Norfolk.

PORTRAYING me as the world’s worst person is lazy journalism. These people are way worse because they don’t practise what they preach.

KELLY LeBrock has been talking about her new career in ranching, but attempting to watch her films is a bit of a slog. Here are more sex symbols you have to be very committed to ogling. 

KATE Winslet has followed appearing in a film with her daughter by starring in a film written by her son. She, and these celebrities, should realise talent isn’t genetic.

NIGEL Farage should be glad of my support. I’m practically a household name, I have a strong work ethic, and I'm not out of touch with young people, many of whom I have f**ked.

I'VE decided to leave the lawless criminal dystopia that is Britain in 2025 and move to Dubai, a location I chose solely on the basis of international crime statistics.

THE Queen has caught the UK unawares with her full-throated support of posh people with horses and houses all joyously committing adultery.

THE win of Angry Ginge on I’m A Celebrity raises a disturbing question. Are Gen Z no longer committing to long-held prejudice about the gingers?