Prince William wears polo shirt to cover up neck tattoos

PRINCE William has admitted wearing a polo shirt to his Earthshot awards to cover up his six new ill-advised neck tattoos.

Anonymous caller books Woking Pizza Express for a party

An anonymous caller has reserved every table in Woking Pizza Express for a celebratory slap-up meal.

Six wholly inappropriate celebrities to read the CBeebies bedtime story

DAVE Grohl, the rocker your nan thinks is lovely, is the next celebrity to read the CBeebies bedtime story. But who should never, ever be allowed?

Royal Family recalls Duke of Edinburgh's only unproblematic joke

MEMBERS of the Royal Family have remembered Prince Philip’s only joke fit for public consumption for a BBC tribute programme.

I knew rap beefs were part of the job when I became chief medical officer, says Professor Chris Whitty

PROFESSOR Chris Whitty has admitted that he knew Twitter beefs with American rappers were part of the job when he became chief medical officer.

Six British TV characters that prove there's something f**king wrong with us as a country

EVER tried to be proud to be British then remembered we made an obese pink-and-yellow monstrosity that only said ‘Blobby’ Christmas number one?

Meghan's obsession with Piers Morgan only getting worse

THE Duchess of Sussex’s overriding obsession with Piers Morgan has only got worse since he was cleared by Ofcom, friends have confirmed.

How to monetise being an absolute prick

SOME people still think being a total knobend is a bad thing, but there’s never been a better time to make a living from being a copper-bottomed throbber.

Why it's illegal to be white in Britain: John Cleese investigates

HELLO, I’m John Cleese, founding member of Monty Python turned furious old bastard, and I’m finding out why it’s illegal to be white in Britain today.

Why my Andrew wouldn't do nuffink like what they said he done, by the Queen

SO I’ve been reading the papers, giving it all this about my boy Andrew and I was all set to get in the car and go down to that Fleet Street and ask some of them editors outside.