Who says men aren't loyal? 44-year-old's top five celebrity shags the same as when he was 21

A 44-YEAR-OLD man still has the same top five celebrity shag list as when he was a young man, it has emerged

Mourning world may never know what Meat Loaf wouldn't do for love

WITH the passing of US singer Meat Loaf, a mourning public may never discover the meaning behind his cryptic lyrics.

What I spent that two million quid on, by Tommy Robinson

BOLLOCKS. I seem to have £2 million in unpaid debts and now people are hassling me for their money. Here are some things I probably shouldn’t have blown the cash on.

Who's stepping back from Royal duties now, bitch? By Prince Harry

LOSING your patronages? Losing your military titles? No more HRH? Well who’s the Royal outcast now, motherf**ker? 

For sale, ski chalet, one Royal perv owner

A RARE opportunity to buy this exclusive Swiss ski chalet has come up. Sale forced due to necessity of settling civil case. One careless, entitled owner. 

Kate at 40: is it time we replaced her with Emma Watson?

THE Duchess of Cambridge celebrates her 40th birthday on Sunday, and our grateful nation is wondering if now is the time to replace her.

Prince Andrew's next six brilliant visionary legal moves to get himself off the hook

HAVING pioneered moves like ‘I don’t sweat’ and ‘she lives in Australia’, the legal world is agog to see what genius loophole the innocent Prince Andrew will exploit next.

Britain has lovely Christmas, apart from everyone self-isolating and Prince Andrew

THE UK has enjoyed a memorable Christmas, with the exception of the hundreds of thousands self-isolating and the Queen’s second son.

Kate to hammer out Chopsticks at Westminster Abbey concert

THE Duchess of Cambridge is to clumsily play Chopsticks on the piano at Westminster Abbey tonight, it has been confirmed.

Musical acts you'd totally expect to see working in Tesco

TABLOIDS love a story about a former pop star in reduced circumstances. But it wouldn’t be the least surprising to see these fronting up the loo roll.