Celebrity

Jesus had a big knob, Turin shroud reveals

JESUS Christ had a larger-than-average penis and insisted on shoehorning this fact into conversation, research into the Turin Shroud has proved.

Brian Cox, and five other celebrities who could be high as f**k and you'd never know

WITH his spaced-out ramblings about the wonders of the universe, no observer can discern whether Brian Cox is straight or high. These are similarly challenging.

Nick Knowles' guide to munters

NICK Knowles of DIY SOS is in trouble for allegedly referring to women from the North East as ‘munters’. But what are they and how valid is his claim? Nick explains.

Lord of the Flies, with special bitter guest star Phillip Schofield

EVER wondered how English Lit GCSE text Lord of the Flies would go with an grudge-bearing former light entertainment star on the island?

We ask you: what did Boris Johnson really say to Prince Harry to persuade him to stay in England?

UNSUCCESSFUL prime minister Boris Johnson unsuccessfully tried to talk Harry out of stepping back as a Royal. What did he say?

Schofield comeback scuppered by sex with younger volleyball

PHILLIP Schofield’s comeback on the Channel 5 show Cast Away has ended badly after an ‘inappropriate’ sexual relationship with a much younger volleyball.

Baby hippo going to be so sexy when it grows up

BABY hippo Moo Deng is cute now but is going to be smoking hot when she attains maturity, social media is agreed.

Eamonn Holmes' guide to keeping the romance alive in a transactional relationship

WHEN you’re dating someone for the financial, sexual or career benefits it’s easy to let the romance slide. Here’s how my new partner Katie and I stay very much in love.