Celebrity

Tom Cruise and Prince William announce intention to double-team you

I would rather have starred in Barbie, says Cillian Murphy

OPPENHEIMER star Cillian Murphy has admitted wishing he and Margot Robbie had swapped roles and she had played the boring nuclear scientist.

The doctors say you staying with Meghan could kill him, explains William

A GRAVE-FACED Prince of Wales has informed his brother that medically, his remaining with his wife could prove a fatal blow.

Please get well because we can't go though all that shit again, says Britain

THE whole nation is willing King Charles III to beat cancer because it cannot go through all that business all over again.

Torvill, Dean and five other celebrities who have spun their tiny amount of fame out for decades

FORTY years ago Britain did not give a f**k about figure skating. Then we briefly did, and despite everything two Olympic gold winners are still famous today.

We ask you: should the Queen sign up for Strictly?

QUEEN Camilla has confirmed she is an ardent Strictly Come Dancing fan who personally overrules the judges and chooses the winners. But should she appear on the show?

The famous faces of Brexit: Where are they now?

BREXIT is now reduced to idiots like Andrea Leadsom droning on about the ‘price of sovereignty’. So what happened to all the mad-keen Brexiters who were famous in 2016?

Royal brain-swap a success

THE brain transplant between the King and the Princess of Wales has been a resounding success, doctors have confirmed.

'Paedo might be a compliment': Laurence Fox's guide to hair-splitting quasi-legal bullshit

YESTERDAY Laurence Fox lost a libel case. Here he compounds his humilation by opining on the finer points of English law and why it means he is right.

Holly Willoughby caught swearing, drinking, smoking and going with boys during Dancing On Ice

ITV viewers have complained that Holly Willoughby swore, swigged white cider, passed a Marlboro Gold and snogged a rough lad while presenting Dancing on Ice.