An entirely speculative fact-free guide to which celebrities are definitely on Ozempic

FIRMLY convinced that, with no experience, you have the uncanny ability to spot which celebrities are using weight-loss drug Ozempic? Go ahead...

Truss, Shapps, Mordaunt: which loss did you climax to?

WATCHING a parade of Tory big names losing their seat has been a sensual and visceral pleasure. But which one really moved the earth for you?

The seven worst things you're ready to believe about David and Victoria Beckham

A NEW biography of the Beckhams attempts to dish the dirt but manages nothing but rehashing old tabloid stories. A shame, when we’re prepared to believe all this.

McKellen to return to stage as McKellen the White

ACTOR Ian McKellen is to return to the West End stage, following a disastrous fall into darkness, purer and more powerful than ever.

Paul Mescal: seven celebrities every woman believes she could pull in the right circumstances

AS women we scoff at male delusions that it it came to it, they could pilot an aircraft to an emergency landing. While simultaneously believing these men are within our reach.

How I'd cope if I shrunk to the size of a Lego person, by Scarlett Johansson

I OFTEN think what would happen if one day I woke up and discovered I was a miniature plastic version of myself. Ridiculous, I know. There’s probably only a 15 or 20 per cent chance of it happening.