Celebrity

THEY’VE taken it all away from me. My Princehood, my Dukedom, my HRH. And now I’m completely anonymous. I could be anywhere. I could be in the room with you now.

I SEE Lily has treated the breakdown of our relationship with the respect it deserves, which is to say, by writing a song about my butt plugs. There’s a bit about a vasectomy as well, is there? Great.

CLAUDIA Winkleman and her blonde co-presenter are leaving Strictly Come Dancing and unless they are replaced the BBC is doomed. Who could do it?

CLAUDIA Winkleman and Tess Daly have announced they are leaving Strictly to embark on a no-holds-barred wildly debauched sexual relationship.

THE Royal family can enjoy the privacy they crave as soon as they return their money, art treasures and at least four of their palaces back to the nation.

PRINCE Andrew has been punished for his crimes and lies by being reduced to the state of being just a regular nobody just like you.