Celebrity

Middle-aged man thinking about Jenny Agutter again

A MIDDLE-AGED man has once again found his thoughts circling back to the actress Jenny Agutter, it has emerged.

Lohan still looking pretty good for all the drugs, doctors have to admit

TROUBLED actress Lindsay Lohan is, despite years of drugs, rehab, and prison, is still looking as attractive as ever.

'In this new fake relationship, I have finally found real fake happiness'

TOM Cruise has announced that his new fake love with Ana de Armas is the truest fake love he has ever known, and he hopes they will pretend to be together forever.

Cat Deeley, and other celebrities you could easily pull because they're single

CAT Deeley is single after 12 years, so don’t waste this opportunity. Even a dull non-celebrity like you could slip in on the rebound, as with these...

King Charles to tear off canary-yellow T-shirt to reveal absurdly muscled chest in tribute

THE King will today hold a press conference, step up to the podium in a yellow T-shirt, then frenziedly rip it apart to reveal a slab of oiled muscle.

'I definitely know more than just Paranoid': six people mourning Ozzy Osbourne today

THE world is paying tribute to metal god Ozzy Osbourne, who died yesterday. These are just a few of the many mourning the Prince of Darkness.

Grace Dent exposed as Grand Wizard of Ku Klux Klan

THE BBC is facing a fresh MasterChef controversy after it emerged that presenter Grace Dent is the Grand Wizard of the Alabama Ku Klux Klan.

'It was f**king Gregg told you that, wasn't it?' asks John Torode

JOHN Torode, the other one from MasterChef, has accused his former co-presenter Gregg Wallace of inventing an allegation of racist language to spite him.