Celebrity

THE handover of the Chagos Islands has been delayed at the eleventh hour after Kirstie Allsopp appeared dramatically in court, brandishing documents.

ENOUGH is enough, and according to Britain’s leading hive of hatemongers these unhappy couples should put off their splits no longer. Divorces by 5pm Friday.

TOM, we need to talk. Euphoria is not so complicated that you need to watch it a seventh time. Also there seem to be episodes you favour over others. You need to realise that Sydney Sweeney is, in fact, mid.

RIGHT-wingers are celebrating a victory which puts minor, piffling general election losses in the shade by condemning Gary Lineker to a lucrative retirement.

IT’S increasingly difficult to avoid the tiresome tabloid celebrity drama ‘Beckxit’. Find out how little it matters in the scheme of things with this guide.

ORGANISING a garden party raises many questions. Finger food or a barbecue? How much wine should I buy? Should I chill the Rohypnol? Luckily renowned party host Sean 'Diddy' Combs is here to advise.

LIKE a spy deep undercover, the Princess of Wales sends coded messages to the world via her choice of trouser suits. These are the most recent.

GOD’s representative on earth and the current manifestation of the Antichrist are now both Chicagoans, it has emerged.

DAVID Beckham is 50, sending most of the nation into PTSD flashbacks of life under the relentless bombardment of publicity about him and his wife. How did you survive?