Five other things I saw coming but didn't stop, by Prince Harry

CAPITOL riots, January 7th? Called it mate. I also predicted these events but decided to just let them happen.

Woman younger than Timothee Chalamet still feels creepy for fancying him

A WOMAN who is a year younger than actor Timothée Chalamet still feels like a raging nonce for fancying him, she has admitted.

Fictional bears ranked from cool as f**k to Pudsey

NOT all bears are created equal. Some are stone f**king cold dudes, and others are the unloved frontman for Children in Need.

Nick Knowles, and other celebrities proper blokes would have a beer with

TOO much of a ruddy bloke for ponces like Daniel Craig? Want to share a few silent moments of macho silence with a real man? MMA fan Roy Hobbs advises looking no further than these six.

An in-depth analysis of every inch of Richard Madeley's body

RICHARD Madeley believes women’s bodies are fair game for his breakfast analysis, so biomedicial scientist Dr Eleanor Shaw is going over his physique.

Prince William wears polo shirt to cover up neck tattoos

PRINCE William has admitted wearing a polo shirt to his Earthshot awards to cover up his six new ill-advised neck tattoos.

Anonymous caller books Woking Pizza Express for a party

An anonymous caller has reserved every table in Woking Pizza Express for a celebratory slap-up meal.

Six wholly inappropriate celebrities to read the CBeebies bedtime story

DAVE Grohl, the rocker your nan thinks is lovely, is the next celebrity to read the CBeebies bedtime story. But who should never, ever be allowed?

Royal Family recalls Duke of Edinburgh's only unproblematic joke

MEMBERS of the Royal Family have remembered Prince Philip’s only joke fit for public consumption for a BBC tribute programme.

I knew rap beefs were part of the job when I became chief medical officer, says Professor Chris Whitty

PROFESSOR Chris Whitty has admitted that he knew Twitter beefs with American rappers were part of the job when he became chief medical officer.