Celebrity

CAPITOL riots, January 7th? Called it mate. I also predicted these events but decided to just let them happen.

A WOMAN who is a year younger than actor Timothée Chalamet still feels like a raging nonce for fancying him, she has admitted.

NOT all bears are created equal. Some are stone f**king cold dudes, and others are the unloved frontman for Children in Need.

TOO much of a ruddy bloke for ponces like Daniel Craig? Want to share a few silent moments of macho silence with a real man? MMA fan Roy Hobbs advises looking no further than these six.

RICHARD Madeley believes women’s bodies are fair game for his breakfast analysis, so biomedicial scientist Dr Eleanor Shaw is going over his physique.

PRINCE William has admitted wearing a polo shirt to his Earthshot awards to cover up his six new ill-advised neck tattoos.

An anonymous caller has reserved every table in Woking Pizza Express for a celebratory slap-up meal.

DAVE Grohl, the rocker your nan thinks is lovely, is the next celebrity to read the CBeebies bedtime story. But who should never, ever be allowed?

MEMBERS of the Royal Family have remembered Prince Philip’s only joke fit for public consumption for a BBC tribute programme.

PROFESSOR Chris Whitty has admitted that he knew Twitter beefs with American rappers were part of the job when he became chief medical officer.