Your brother's mate Kev named Sexiest Man Alive 2023

KEVIN, a friend of your brother, has been named the sexiest man on earth for 2023, beating Chris Hemsworth, Timothée Chalamet and Idris Elba.

Queen back next

THE Queen will be the next high-profile individual to amaze the public by returning to their old job, it has been confirmed.

First Holly now Carol, sob bereaved, horny dads

FATHERS still mourning the loss of Holly Willoughby from their screens are devastated to learn they have now been robbed of Carol Vorderman as well.

Prince William bitten by radioactive baby

THE heir to the throne has been bitten by a radioactive baby and now has the powers of a baby, it has emerged.

Gen Z celebrities explained for blissfully ignorant middle-aged people

IS your child thrilled because a celeb you've never heard of liked their comment on a social media platform you didn't know existed? It’s time to end your shameful ignorance. 

Six things you won't learn from the Britney book you wish you could

BRITNEY Spears’ book The Woman In Me is a fascinating indictment of the pressures of stardom, by all accounts. But there are some details you wish she would clear up.

Daytime TV presenter sexual fantasies that suggest you need to get a job

YESTERDAY Rachel Riley wore a sexy nude-effect dress on Countdown, and if you already knew that maybe it’s time to get a f**king job? Here are some daytime hotties who prove it’s time for a rethink.

Coleen Rooney: It was heartbreaking taking our Wayne to get neutered

COLEEN Rooney has spoken about the tough decision to have her husband neutered following allegations of his philandering.

Al Pacino, and other revered actors who get right on your tits

WHY is Al Pacino so respected for shouting and Robert De Niro feted for mumbling? Here are some other screen icons who are annoyingly overrated.

Seven Gen Z celebrities you'd date just to piss off your kids

IT’S wrong to sexually objectify people, Gen Z will inform you earnestly. True, so if you fancy winding them up just share your romantic feelings about these hotties with them.