Celebrity

How to avoid allegations of inappropriate behaviour at your Christmas do, with Gregg Wallace

BOOZY workplace Christmas dos are a danger zone for inappropriate behaviour. Luckily former MasterChef presenter Gregg Wallace is an expert in this particular field. Here are his tips.

Gregg Wallace to win public back by asking them to punch him in the stomach as hard as they can

DISGRACED MasterChef presenter Gregg Wallace is to win Britain back by lifting his shirt, tensing his abs and demanding they punch him hard in the stomach.

'We're called MILFs,' angry middle-class women of a certain age tell Wallace

SEETHING middle-class women of a certain age have told Gregg Wallace that the phrase he was looking for is ‘MILFs’.

Rod Stewart to receive second knighthood for contribution to sick burns

SIR Rod Stewart is to be knighted again in recognition of his outstanding contribution to brutal online put-downs, it has been announced.

Apropos of nothing, ten cookery phrases with sexual connotations

ISN’T cooking funny, with all its potential for sexual innuendo? For no particular reason, here are some phrases you wouldn’t want to be misinterpreted in a mixed-sex cookery environment.

Seven reasons to opt out of wife-swapping with the Primrose Hill set

SUPERGRASS are opening Glastonbury while all we really want to know about is the Primrose Hill celebrity wife-swapping debauchery of the early 00s. Be glad you were never involved.

We ask you: was £72 million for the King’s coronation value for money?

THE coronation of King Charles III, a marvellous occasion that was on the television for a whole day, cost taxpayers £72,000,000. Worth it?

Farmers' protest led by most inherently unsympathetic figurehead possible

YESTERDAY’S inheritance tax protest by farmers was led by a multi-millionaire who has spent the last two decades pissing off everyone he can.