Celebrity

FAMOUS? Been offered money to slap your name on something and said yes even though you’re already rich? These are seven common cash-ins.

ACTOR Leonardo DiCaprio today celebrates reaching the age of two of his girlfriends’ upper age limit. 

THE Prince of Wales has confessed that his 2024 has been so difficult it has almost hit the level of an ordinary Briton’s year.

REMEMBER when every dodgy bastard in the UK was screeching about being cancelled? Considering they’ve been ruthlessly silenced by the forces of woke, these individuals are still strangely vocal.

THE role of American president is a bastion of modern democracy, requiring a rational mind, a trustworthy demeanour and, above all, being a completely sane, non-weird sort of person.

SADLY my plans to build a fully-functional Death Star on my estate in Somerset have run into objections. Here is my advice on dealing with idiotic planning regulations and whinging locals.

JEREMY Clarkson has admitted disquiet at his discovery, aged 64, that consequences exist and even worse apply to him.

BORN-AGAIN Christian Russell brand is selling a bullshit amulet that blocks wifi while blithering on about his newfound faith. How the Lord must abhor him.