I have been arrested and fired. Next, I hope to be killed, by Laurence Fox

THEY have come for me at last. The stormtroopers of wokery in my home and firing me from my job. Surely it is only weeks before they give me the death I crave.

Overlooked celebrities you're sure would shag you out of gratitude

SOME celebs get overshadowed by bigger stars or never quite hit the uppermost heights of fame. Here are some who’d be incredibly flattered by your attention.

Who the f**k are Posh and Becks? A guide for Gen Z

A WHOLE generation has come of age since Posh and Becks were culturally relevant. Here’s how to explain to Zoomers who they are.

U2 safely contained in sphere

THE band U2 have been securely contained in a high-technology sphere in the desert, scientists have confirmed.

Billie Piper, and five other celebrities who didn't deserve a bellend like that

THE warm and good-hearted people of these islands like to see our celebrities suffer for the crime of being famous, but don't feel they deserved these relationships.

A woman's guide to meeting the exacting standards of Laurence Fox

DO you dream of going out with washed-up pub bore Laurence Fox? As you’d expect, he’s got very high standards, so here’s how to maximise your attractiveness to him.

Celebrity delighted to discover she's also an author

A HOLLYWOOD actor was thrilled to learn she is also a talented novelist and has a book published, she has confirmed.

Seven former child actors you still feel a bit dubious about

FOR every child actor that ruins a film, there’s another who gave you feelings in your own childhood and it’s all a bit awkward now.

Nigel Slater: 'I f**k toast'

MUCH-LOVED cookery writer Nigel Slater has confessed that his passion for toast goes beyond the kitchen and into the bedroom.

Six celebrities whose sex lives will be deeply problematic in the near future

RIGHT now they have the public and media’s blessing, but in between a few months and a few years we’ll be horrified at what we condoned.