LABOUR’S wealth tax will still impoverish you even if you’re earning £971,245 less than the taxable level. The Mail explains how you and your loved ones will soon be destitute:
There will be no jobs without rich people
Why would a genius like James Dyson bother having brilliant ideas like a vacuum cleaner that costs £200 more than its rivals if he has to pay tax? If he could only earn £18 billion instead of £20 billion, he may as well just go on Income Support.
You may never inherit a fortune
King Charles, Pip in Great Expectations, Donald Trump, Bruce Wayne – the list of people who inherited fortunes is long and deserving, but Labour wants to stop it ever happening to you. It’s typical of nasty little bank clerk Rachel Reeves that she can’t see all the good done with inherited wealth. If Lara Croft had to take a job in PR, who would raid the tombs?
The slippery slope effect
Once the masses get a taste for taxing billionaires Mao-style communism is inevitable. At best all your possessions will be confiscated by the state, at worst a mob of young people will drag you from your home calling you a counter-revolutionary as they beat you to death. Your crime? Owning a bourgeois box of granola.
The markets won’t like it
The City and bond markets hated it when Liz Truss abolished all taxes on the wealthy, so they’ll hate the opposite even more. There will be another Great Depression. If you’re a loving husband, imagine explaining there’ll be no more foreign holidays to your wife. Or rather your ‘bitch’, because you’ll have been forced to become her pimp.
Your lottery win could come any day
£10 million is nothing in terms of lottery wins these days, and if you’ve been playing for years your payout is due. Frankly it’s disgusting that the government can just help themselves to your money when you’ve been carefully planning for your financial future by playing it every week since 1995.
You’ve had a great idea for an app
Remember how you had the brilliant idea for an app that teaches you German, only to find DuoLingo had beaten you to it by a mere 15 years? That wasn’t fair, but your next idea will definitely work. Do you really want to be hit with a wealth tax just when you’ve come up with Tinder, but for dogs?
There will be a South American-style military coup
Whenever the interests of the rich are threatened, there’s a military coup which leads to rampant inflation which leads to secret prisons and testicular electrocutions. Is that really what you voted for? Thinking again, it’s the lefties they punish so come on, Rachel Reeves, bring in your wealth tax and give us the fascist death squad utopia we deserve.
