Ate soup with a fork, and five other things the Queen told Biden Trump did

CONVERSATIONS with Her Majesty are usually strictly private. But in her meeting with President Biden she asked for these nuggets about his dickhead predecessor to be revealed.

The Irish-American's guide to how Biden will kick Johnson's limey ass

YO. Name's Fintan O’Connell, third-generation, Guinness-drinking, IRA-supporting Irish-American New Yorker. Today’s epic asskicking will reverberate across the Atlantic. Here’s how it’s going down:  

What the f**k is a rain check? Seven baffling questions Americans should answer

THEY talk English, but there’s something deeply wrong with Americans and they should be stopped. Until they answer these questions.

Ryanair passengers handed hefty fighter jet escort charge

PASSENGERS on a hijacked Ryanair flight have been billed £565 for the privilege of being escorted by a Belarussian MiG-29, they have confirmed.

'It's on the green list' say family jetting off to Israel

A FAMILY going on a sunshine break to Israel are convinced they will be safe because the government have put it on the list of green countries.

I'm not a racist, so why am I being weird about Derek Chauvin's conviction?

I’M not a racist, but I feel a strange need to try to undermine Derek Chauvin’s conviction for something he clearly did. Did I mention I’m not a racist, by the way?

We're second-class citizens in Europe, complain people who voted to be

BRITISH expatriates who voted for Brexit are upset to be treated differently to EU citizens, as they explicitly demanded to be.

Britain calls for global pandemic treaty it can be a total dick about

BRITAIN has joined world leaders to call for a global pandemic treaty it will immediately act like a total dick about.

European countries suspend Oxford jab over fears it turns you gammon

FRANCE, Germany and Italy have suspended use of the UK-developed AstraZeneca vaccine following reports that it turns you into a raging gammon.

New Zealand halfway through gruelling three-day lockdown

FOLLOWING the discovery of a handful of local Covid-19 cases, New Zealand is currently halfway through a demanding three-day lockdown.