Donald Trump's guide to styling out a flatulence problem

IT’S claimed that Donald Trump’s long hours in the courtroom are causing him to emit a large amount of anal gas. Here he explains how to minimise the embarrassment in various situations.

Lourdes, and other hot new locations for your stag party

PRAGUE and Amsterdam no fun anymore? Looking for new locations to stagger around hammered before pissing against a historical monument?

We ask you: could you be an unbiased juror in Donald Trump's trial, or do you think he's a knobhead?

DONALD Trump is on trial for financial malfeasance in New York. Could you serve as a juror, or have you unaccountably developed opinions about him?

Trump election campaign confident of victory after portents of doom strike America

DONALD Trump’s campaign team are confident in their chances of electoral success as an earthquake and a solar eclipse foreshadow great evil coming to the US.

Russian not sure if he'll even vote because 'they're all the bloody same'

A RUSSIAN man has admitted he does not see the point of voting in the presidential election because it never makes a difference anyway.

We ask you: who will be the winner of 2024's Trump-Biden rematch?

DONALD Trump has all but clinched the Republican presidential nomination, because that’s America. Who will win the forthcoming geriatric rematch?

We ask you: should the Plymouth bomb be sent back to Germany to teach them a bloody lesson?

AN unexploded World War Two bomb saw thousands evacuated and Plymouth shut down yesterday. Should we return it to Germany from 30,000ft?