International

Trump mugshot can read your mind

THE mugshot of Donald Trump is capable of reading your innermost thoughts, it has been confirmed.

He thinks he looks hard

FORMER president Trump believes he looks resolute and powerful in his mugshot, not like a petty, resentful pensioner claiming to have been short-changed on the bus.

Who could possibly have killed Yevgeny Prigozhin?

THE leader of the Wagner mercenary group has been killed in a plane crash, but could this be more than a mere accident? Could it be… murder?

The Italian's guide to pushing into a British queue

YOU Brits with your neat queues and willingness to wait, so proud of an achievement so boring. Italian Paolo Cinquetti explains how to swerve that cazzate: 

Six foreign tourist attractions you wouldn't look at twice if they were in Britain

ABROAD? You’ll happily trek over a mountain to see a 300-year-old pipe organ. You wouldn’t give a shit for any of these if they were in Morecambe.

Non-Britons also fleeing Rhodes

A POPULATION known only as ‘non-Britons’ is also fleeing from the fires currently engulfing Rhodes, it has emerged.

Wetherspoons at last orders, and other British locations that will shatter American tourists' illusions

TO Americans, Britain is Buckingham Palace, Stonehenge and Hogwarts. To maintain the illusion they should avoid these locations.

Middle-class couple in Sardinia cooking huevos rancheros on pavement

MIDDLE-CLASS holidaymakers in Sardinia are cooking huevos rancheros on the baking-hot tiles outside their villa, it has emerged.

Commonwealth Games parasite searching for host

THE slavering parasite of the Commonwealth Games is looking for a new host to bleed dry, it has confirmed.