International

A REPORT has revealed that Donald Trump would have been convicted if the American justice system had stopped pulling its pud and done something.

THE US is hunting down the thoughtless prick who provided Donald Trump with a map of the world and caused all this trouble.

A BRITISH man living in Berlin has confirmed it is because he is better, both physically and spiritually, than those who have remained in the country of their birth.

A PARENT has told her children, in the light of the assassination of Lt Gen Kirillov in Moscow by exploding scooter, that she knew they were dangerous.

WHEW! Exaggerated sigh of relief! Being overthrown is stressful, so it’s great to be here in the refuge of the Kremlin where there is no cause to worry about threats to my life.

FRANCE has announced it has failed as a democratic republic and is to return to good old-fashioned monarchical rule.