International

Laughs ahoy as America re-elects popular comedy president

THE world is preparing for a fun-filled four years after the US re-elected the rollicking slapstick clown who proved so hilarious last time.

We get just as excited for your by-elections, America tells UK

US voters has told their British counterparts that by-elections in Wellingborough hold their rapt attention just as much as presidential elections fascinate the UK.

'I ate a squirrel and it was beautiful' says Trump to wild moronic cheers

A BEFUDDLED and deranged Donald Trump has told a rally he ate the most beautiful pet squirrel and been cheered to the rafters for it.

Six offensive American stereotypes proven entirely true by Trump supporters

BRITONS have always sneered at Americans, but if you’ve been following the US election it’s hard not to conclude that some of our nastiest prejudices are dead right. Such as these.

Australian senator mistakes meaningless figurehead for person of power

AN Australian senator has embarrassed herself by shouting slogans at a ceremonial figurehead which could no more do anything than a statue could.

Foreign countries absolutely shit at sending postcards

NATIONS other than Britain cannot so much as convey a simple postcard to its destination without taking months, it has emerged.

I'm just back from a fortnight in the Chagos Islands, and you cannot imagine a more British place

UNION Jacks hanging from every house. A portrait of the King in every kitchen. A spoonful of Marmite stirred into your tea. The Chagos Islands are the most British place on Earth.

Everything you don't know and don't want to know about the conflict in the Middle East

WHY is it happening? When will it end? Is it my fault at all? Just a few of the things you do not know, and would prefer not to, about the conflict in the Middle East.