International

PRESIDENT Trump is putting his ridiculous petulant face on a $250 dollar bill for the exclusive use of his pals in organised crime. But what else could he put it on?

ONE of Trump’s few skills is simping for authoritarian bastards, and his trip to China is no exception. Here is how he's taking on a submissive beta role.

THE president of the US has been crowing about passing cognitive tests again, unrelated to daily concerns about his decaying mental state. He could also boast about these.

THANKS to the King’s visit, relations between the US and the UK have been restored for - no, scratch that, they are in the shitter again.

THE King and I aren’t just in absolute agreement that Iran shouldn’t have nuclear weapons and my war is great. We’re also as one on these issues.

ONCE again, an assassin has failed to kill me due to my superb reflexes and literally incredible IQ. These presidents just sat there and got pumped full of lead like Biden would.