DONALD Trump has explained the ‘secret’ he and Jeffrey Epstein shared was how to unlock Shrek as a playable character on Tony Hawk’s Underground.
The president said the note he wrote for Epstein’s 50th birthday which said ‘may every day be another wonderful secret’ was in reference to the 2003 game, which he was an aficionado of and 100 percented.
He continued: “You think this is about sex with underage girls? Fake news. Or fakie news, as Jeff and I would have quipped back in the day. That’s a skating reference.
“Yes, I used to travel to Epstein Island frequently, but certainly not to perform sexual acts with trafficked teens, because that never took place and anyone who might say otherwise is dead or in jail. Instead, we would spend long nights on the PS2 mastering lip tricks.
“I ignored all the girls that were there, I didn’t so much as unlock their cages. My total focus was on getting my skater – I used an image of my own face for a custom one, Jeff used a picture of a different anatomical feature – to turn pro.
“This is why the Epstein files cannot be released. We cannot allow Democrat noobs like Hillary and Biden the knowledge of how to unlock moon gravity.”
He added: “You get the Shrek character by completing the story on easy. That’s actually very hard, the hardest mode. I’m the only guy who ever did it.”
