Science & Technology

Period-tracking app lets boyfriend know when he will be a selfish arsehole

AN APP which tracks his partner’s menstrual cycle is helping a man predict when he will be an insensitive dick who thinks only of himself.

People who post 'going' on Facebook events then don't to face prison

PEOPLE who claim they are going to Facebook events then do not are scum who should face stiff penalties, it has been decided.

Dashboard warning light ignored for second year

A WARNING light on a car’s dashboard has now been safely ignored for two whole years, its owner has confirmed.

Angry greased python easier to dress than toddler

PUTTING clothes on a toddler is more difficult than putting them on a large slippery snake, experts have confirmed.

45-year-old man pretending not to understand modern things

A MIDDLE-AGED man is, for reasons best known to himself, pretending not to be familiar with much of the modern world.

The mum's guide to humiliating your children on Facebook

ARE you a mum who loves posting stuff about your grown-up kids on Facebook even if they hate it? Here’s how to subject them to maximum embarrassment.

BMW drivers facing speed limiters promise they'll still be wankers

BMW drivers have assured the public that speed limiting technology will not stop them being tossers on the roads.

Twitter user responding to absolutely anything with a death threat

A MAN who has spent too much time on Twitter now believes it is normal to respond to any minor annoyance with calls for murder.

Man on electric unicycle provides valuable insight into bellends of the future

A MAN on an electric unicycle has given the world a glimpse of the tiresome tossers they will have to deal with more regularly in the future.

How to waste your life making pointless YouTube videos

DO you feel an inexplicable need to start your own YouTube channel for your amateurish, unwatched videos? Why not try failing to attract an audience in these popular genres?

Old computers sad you don't love them anymore

OLD laptops are devastated by their fickle owners suddenly preferring their new computer, they have revealed.

What if you are actually a robot? Take this quick test...

IT might seem like an easy enough question, but what if you were to just lie? So with that terrifying thought in mind let's see if you really are a robot or not...