Science & Technology

How we stupidly thought the internet would be nice in the 90s

WHEN the ‘worldwide web’ began to arrive in British homes in the 90s, it was going to bring people together and make us really clever from all that knowledge. Here’s what we stupidly believed.

Woman believes social media best place to cry and discuss personal problems

A WOMAN is convinced social media is a suitable forum for her to cry and discuss her most intimate personal problems.

Call from unknown number can go f**k itself

AN INCOMING phone call from a number you do not recognise can do one, it has been confirmed.

Looks not everything but they are about 95 per cent, scientists confirm

BEING handsome or beautiful is not the be-all-and-end-all of being attractive but it does account for 95 per cent, scientists have confirmed.

Mate in the group chat who never says anything died in 2019

A WHATSAPP group is the mourning the loss of one of its members after it was discovered his silence was not due to him ‘being shit at the bantz’, but because he is dead.

We ask you: should cafes ban laptops and their overpaid scum users?

A CANTERBURY cafe has banned laptops and claims it has helped build a community. Should others do the same?

Duolingo, and other stressful app reminders that can f**k off

SMARTPHONE apps were meant to make life easier but instead add to the general anxiety of it by harassing you constantly. Like these ones.

'I've always hated you': What your friend said in their deleted WhatsApp message

WHATSAPP loves shit-stirring by telling you a friend has deleted a message. Here’s a reasonable guess at what they said.