Science & Technology

Seven sci-fi things we should have by now but don't

BY the year 2020 we expected to be driving around Mars in spacesuits while robots do all the work. But we’re not.

Woman tripping on mushrooms hallucinates world where Brexit vote never happened

A WOMAN who took magic mushrooms has hallucinated a world where the Brexit referendum never happened.

Woman who accidentally liked ex-boyfriend's photo takes 25-year social media break

A WOMAN whose finger slipped while scrolling through her ex-boyfriend’s Instagram has announced she is taking a social media sabbatical until 2044.

Woman posting motivational quotes from bed

A WOMAN is posting inspirational, motivational quotes on social media from under the duvet where she has been for 16 hours.

65 per cent of all bullsh*t in PowerPoint

ALMOST two-thirds of all bullsh*t is presented in PowerPoint format, it has emerged.

Man who put wet iPhone in bowl of rice sad to find rice isn't magic

A MAN’S attempt to revive an iPhone dropped in a sink by placing it in rice has sadly failed because rice is not magic.

What are you interrupting to check your phone?

ARE you being annoying enough about obsessively checking your phone? Here are some great situations to rudely interrupt.

How to be a kn*bhead about wearing earbuds

THINK wireless earbuds make you look cool? Only until one falls out into your skinny macchiato. Here’s how to be even more of a twat about them.

Mum in WhatsApp group losing her sh*t about missing school jumper

A MOTHER has gone fully apesh*t crazy about a missing school jumper on a parents’ WhatsApp group, members have confirmed.

Parents wilfully refuse to understand what son does for a living

THE parents of a 36-year-old software engineer have once again purposefully resisted understanding what he does as a job.

Has VAR ruined your marriage?

VAR, or video assistant referees, are causing controversy on football pitches. But are they also responsible for your failing marriage?

Stone-cold psycho sitting on bus staring out of window without even headphones in

A MAN who is riding a bus without any form of entertainment is presumed by his fellow passengers to be extremely dangerous.