Science & Technology

How to survive your elderly parents getting a new phone

ARE you kindly helping your ageing parents get ‘one of these Smart Phones’? Here’s how to keep your blood pressure at safe levels.

Don't read the article: How to write a moronic internet comment

DO you feel compelled to share your gormless thoughts online? Here’s how to sound like the thousands of morons found in the average comments section.

router

Most important relationship in family's life is with internet router

A FAMILY of four have confirmed they cherish every moment they spend with their high-speed wireless router.

'Yeah, there's just rocks and shit everywhere' confirms Perseverance rover

AFTER a nail-biting landing, NASA’s Perseverance rover is now assessing the rocky Martian terrain with a sense of deep disappointment.

Five fantastic new emojis just for Guardian readers

EXISTING emojis are fine for plebs, but don’t convey the complex feelings of Guardian readers. As Apple launches more than 200 new ones, here are some just for them.

Everyone secretly grateful for complete losers who write Amazon reviews

CONSUMERS agree that people who write product reviews on Amazon are pitiful losers, despite reading every single one and finding them very helpful.

Woman who took quick glance at Instagram looks up and five years have passed

A WOMAN who had a quick one-second peek of Instagram has looked up to find five years of her life have disappeared.

How to follow old school friends on social media without them realising

WANT to snoop on your former schoolmates in a pathetic attempt to feel good about yourself? Here’s how to pry without getting caught.

Five things never to put on social media if you want to keep your job

KEEN to remain in gainful employment? Then don’t livestream yourself marching with a banned far-right group.

How to parallel park, by a man standing on the pavement shouting instructions

YOU can fit it in that gap easy! Yeah, bags of room. Here, you reverse it in and I’ll stand here shouting judgments disguised as help.

The moron's guide to choosing the right comments section

ARE you desperate to share your witless opinions and tired jokes underneath newspaper articles? Here’s how to find the comments section that’s right for you.

Who are you trolling online?

DELIBERATELY angering strangers on the internet is the UK’s top new lockdown hobby. So who are you trolling this weekend?