Science & Technology

Female physicist trying to pinpoint exact times of prosecco and gin o’clock

A RENOWNED female scientist has made it her life’s work to establish the precise timings of ‘Prosecco o’clock’ and ‘Gin o’clock’.

Has social media f**ked up your priorities? Take our quiz

ARE your priorities all totally wrong because you live on social media? Find out with our handy quiz.

You're a dickhead until the age of 30, research confirms

NEW research has confirmed that while people are legally adults at 18, they remain immature dickheads until approximately the age of 30.

112-year-old woman claims secret to long life is knowing the difference between 'Reply' and 'Reply All'

BRITAIN’S oldest woman has put her longevity down to knowing the difference between clicking ‘Reply’ or ‘Reply All’ when answering an email.

Younger brother dreams of one day playing PlayStation with the good controller

A NINE-YEAR-OLD has admitted that he dreams of one day playing videogames with an actual official, functioning controller.

Woman wasting 30 hours a week rereading emails she's just sent

A WOMAN is idiotically wasting a large chunk of her life rereading emails and WhatsApp messages the moment she has sent them.

Hancock admits track and trace app was developed for Nokia 3310

THE health secretary has admitted that the government’s 'world beating' track and trace app failed because it was developed for a 20-year-old phone.

'If you haven't experienced it, it may still exist', experts warn

EXPERTS have confirmed that it is possible that even if an issue has not directly impacted your life, it may still be real.

Who are you f**king furious at online today?

BRITAIN could have spent 12 weeks of lockdown learning the piano, reading Ulysses or helping others, but instead we’re being bloody angry online. Who’s getting it today? 

Coronavirus 'still not as stressful as explaining Windows 10 upgrade to your parents'

A MAN has found that supporting his parents during coronavirus is nothing compared to the trauma of helping them install Windows 10.

Science is bollocks, confirms Johnson

THE prime minister has announced that science is a load of bollocks only metropolitan liberal elitists believe in. 

The science behind easing lockdown explained, by a doctor out of his mind on ketamine

WHY is the government is taking actions for pandemic level one while we’re at level four but pretending it’s level three? Let me explain while soaring on ket.