Science & Technology

Five fun facts everyone already f**king knows

DO you like to entertain people with fun but surprising facts that make great talking points? Are they the same facts everyone already f**king knows?

What psychological damage have you suffered from 1980s computer games?

NEW research suggests gaming can improve wellbeing. But today’s games aren’t the maddening frustration-fests of the 1980s. Find out how you’ve been mentally scarred.

Elon Musk invents tiny spaceship that can fly right up his piss hole

SOUTH African Elon Musk has announced that now he has conquered space he has a new project: a spaceship that can fly right up his penis.

Why people are really liking your social media posts

WE all get a buzz when our social media posts get a lot of likes. But don’t get too excited - here are the real reasons people have ‘liked’ your online ramblings.   

Scientist doubting life's work after reading Facebook comments by twat

AN expert epidemiologist is doubting everything he has ever learned about viruses after reading the baseless opinions of some halfwit on Facebook.

Hardcore will never die, say scientists

HARDCORE rave music will outlast everything else in the universe, scientists have proved.

Clocks go either back or forward this weekend or next weekend

THE UK has been reminded that the clocks go forward or possibly back, this Saturday or maybe the Saturday after.

The five emotional phases of teaching a grandparent to send a text

IF you want to go from being patiently helpful to a murderous rage in a matter of minutes, try teaching an elderly person to send a text message. Here are the phases you’ll go through.

Five terrifying email subject lines that will make you cry into your keyboard

YOU’RE having a productive day. You’re cruising towards inbox zero. But all it takes is one of these ominously worded email subjects to reduce you to a sobbing mess.

The man's guide to commenting on women's bodies online

IT is vital that women know what men on the internet think is wrong with their bodies. Here’s how to go about this noble work.

The only reasons your landline could possibly be ringing

JESUS Christ, what’s that noise? And where is it coming from? Ah, it’s the landline you’re obliged to keep in order to have broadband. But who could be ringing?

Dad loves pressure washer more than children

A FAMILY suspect their dad loves his new pressure washer more than his children.