Science & Technology

Post-nut clarity lasts for two minutes, scientists confirm

THE mental acuity which men experience after ejaculation lasts for precisely 120 seconds, scientists have confirmed.

Why banning under-16s from using phones and social media would be piss-easy, by the government

YOUNG people always listen to adults and never want things they are told they can’t have. Here Tory MP Miriam Cates explains how she would make them stick to a smartphone ban.

How to set up your account on our foolproof Postmaster Compensation Hub: A guide by Fujitsu

HAVE you been wrongly accused of theft due to clunky Fujitsu technology? Here’s how to claim compensation from our 100 per cent reliable Fujitsu online hub.

10 overawed, often sexual, reactions when people read 'Sent from my iPhone'

IT’S hard to underestimate the impact of telling people you’re a big swinging dick who sends messages from an iPhone. Here’s what impressed recipients think, in their own words.

Auntie's character still accelerating into wall four days after end of family Mario Kart tournament

AN aunt’s Mario Kart character is still doggedly accelerating into a wall four days after the rest of the family put down their controllers.

Man spends Boxing Day scrolling Tinder from childhood bedroom

A MAN home for Christmas has spent Boxing Day swiping his way through hometown Tinder while lying on the Steven Gerrard duvet he got when he was ten.

Six phone lock screens you'll rightly get the piss taken out of you for

FROM the overly saccharine to the hopelessly unfashionable, these lock screen pictures can do serious damage to your street cred.

Dad's phone torch on again

A DAD has left his phone torch on again, it has been confirmed.

Man has no passwords left to give

A MAN has admitted he has no passwords left in him after years of using the internet.