Science & Technology

Remainers getting DNA-tested to prove they're not English

SALES of home DNA tests have spiked as Remainers desperately try to prove they are not in any way English.

Seven sci-fi things we should have by now but don't

BY this point in the 21st century we expected to be driving around Mars in spacesuits while robots do all the work. But we’re not. Here’s seven other things we’ve been deprived of:

Woman tripping on mushrooms hallucinates world where Brexit vote never happened

A WOMAN who took magic mushrooms has hallucinated a world where the Brexit referendum never happened.

Woman who accidentally liked ex-boyfriend's photo takes 25-year social media break

A WOMAN whose finger slipped while scrolling through her ex-boyfriend’s Instagram has announced she is taking a social media sabbatical until 2044.

Woman posting motivational quotes from bed

A WOMAN is posting inspirational, motivational quotes on social media from under the duvet where she has been for 16 hours.

65 per cent of all bullsh*t in PowerPoint

ALMOST two-thirds of all bullsh*t is presented in PowerPoint format, it has emerged.

Man who put wet iPhone in bowl of rice sad to find rice isn't magic

A MAN’S attempt to revive an iPhone dropped in a sink by placing it in rice has sadly failed because rice is not magic.

What are you interrupting to check your phone?

ARE you being annoying enough about obsessively checking your phone? Here are some great situations to rudely interrupt.

How to be a knobhead about wearing earbuds

THINK wireless earbuds make you look cool? Only until one falls out into your skinny macchiato. Here’s how to be even more of a twat about them.

Mum in WhatsApp group losing her shit about missing school jumper

A MOTHER has gone fully apeshit crazy about a missing school jumper on a parents’ WhatsApp group, members have confirmed.