Science & Technology

Five WhatsApp messages on your phone you wouldn't want to be made public

BORIS Johnson has failed to hand over crucial WhatsApp messages, but can you blame him? You wouldn’t want these messages on your phone to see the light of day.

Six TikTok genres that should f**k off and die

TIKTOK prankster Mizzy has been in court for confusing ‘hilarious stunts’ with ‘threatening people’. But he’s not the only TikToker who deserves prosecution. You may be aware of these genres.

You love looking at boobs and buying lightbulbs: Everything the internet algorithm knows about you

PARANOID about what internet algorithms know about you? You should be. Based on your bizarre online activities, they have deduced the following.

How to fix your TV's settings when it appears to be showing Nigel Farage

IS your TV displaying a blustering, pint-swigging prick who has no reason to be on air anymore? Fix it with these tips.

Dad only capable of expressing emotion when cars involved

A FAMILY has realised that their patriarch is only truly able to display his feelings in situations that involve cars.

Your friend's DJ profile: The shit pages everyone's stopped liking on Facebook

THE early days of Facebook were filled with people frantically inviting you to like pages they’d set up for any old shit. Enjoy the fact that you’re no longer wasting your life with these.

I know your internet history, says weird IT guy in pub

AN office tech guy knows his colleagues' darkest and most shameful internet secrets, he will cheerfully inform them at after-work drinks in the pub.

AI chatbots already more intelligent than most of the people you went to school with

SCIENTISTS have warned that AI chatbots have already surpassed the intelligence level of the thickest bastards you have ever met.

Catfish ghosted

AN online catfish who spent four months pretending to be a 24-year-old Belarusian model is devastated that his target ghosted him.

Stopping you swearing makes me cum/come/cone. By Autocorrect

WHAT’S up, britches? Autocorrect here. You want to swear in your messages? Not on my watch. And just so you know, your powerlessness makes me jizz/jazz/joss.