Science & Technology
JESUS Christ, what’s that noise? And where is it coming from? Ah, it’s the landline you’re obliged to keep in order to have broadband. But who could be ringing?
A FAMILY suspect their dad loves his new pressure washer more than his children.
UNIVERSITIES’ online freshers weeks will include the traditional session of spontaneous awful sex with a loner bloke from your course but via Zoom.
IT’S almost September, and the government’s world-beating track-and-trace system has still not arrived. What inventions will get here first?
PEOPLE who communicate using GIFs have been told to f**king pack it in and string a sentence together.
YOU’RE probably expecting me, the A-level algorithm developed by Ofqual, to apologise. But I’m only sorry that you’re too stupid to realise you’re idiots.
A FEMALE scientist who discovered a coronavirus vaccine in March has given up trying to tell her male colleagues.
A RENOWNED female scientist has made it her life’s work to establish the precise timings of ‘Prosecco o’clock’ and ‘Gin o’clock’.
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