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Science & Technology

Professions you'd be delighted to see destroyed by AI

THE effect of AI on jobs is expected to be bad. But having said that, there are some professions we’d be happy to see gone forever. Such as these…

AI prompt for rich, humourless dickhead generates uncanny likeness of Musk

Nothing said after five drinks counts, scientists agree

INSULTS, flirtations and generally talking bollocks are all null and void after a fifth drink has been consumed, scientists have confirmed.

Woman's age verified a bit too fast for her liking

A WOMAN’S age has been verified by an online tool at a speed that is frankly insulting, she has confirmed.

Were men this weird pre-internet, ask women

MILLENNIAL women are asking their elders if men were this peculiar before the online era or if the internet is to blame.

iPhone convinced you want to commemorate Battle of the Boyne

YOUR iPhone has, for the 15th consecutive year, reminded you that all your other appointments come second to celebrating the Battle of the Boyne.

'There was a crumb in the cupboard': Online reviews by arseholes with insanely high expectations

ARE you an idiot with unrealistic expectations who loves finding things to moan about? You’re probably responsible for one of these online reviews…

Every school play hinges on either UV light, strobe light or smoke machine

EVERY play performed by a school revolves around the single piece of stage technology that school possesses, it has emerged.

Distant galaxies never look like cock and balls

Funny ties, and other Father's Day gifts now made sadly obsolete

TOKEN gifts for fathers were so easy in times gone by, when a Simpsons tie did the job perfunctorily enough for no messy emotions to be bared on either side. These were adequate.