Science & Technology

​​Answering by saying his number: Weird things your dad does on the phone

YOUR dad uses phones in very strange ways. Here are some of the weirder ones to try and not get stressed about.

Five innocent texts that sound aggro as f**k to the recipient

NEED to relay basic information without sounding bitchy? Good luck - even these innocent texts sound passive aggressive.

Ways the Metaverse will be worse than real life

WILL Facebook’s exciting new online world be a digital oasis? Or a bit of a disappointment that’s increasingly a chore? Let’s look at the evidence.

How to decode your mum's emojis

MUM is messaging and the emojis are flowing but her choices are utterly baffling. Here’s what she’s really trying to say:

Five sounds to add to electric cars to make them less f**king creepy

THE silent smugness of an approaching electric car can scare you shitless. What sounds could be added as a warning?

'Hand-wash only' cardigan should f**king get over itself

A CARDIGAN that claims on its care label to be 'hand-wash only' has been told to get a f**king grip.

Top seven awe-inspiring meteor showers you'll blissfully sleep through

INCREDIBLE cosmic events are ideal for proclaiming ‘Let’s stay up’ before nodding off by 10pm. These spectacular meteor showers will be missed for these valid reasons.

Father prints out and posts meme

A FATHER has printed out a meme and distributed it by post because he thinks that is how they work.

World crippled by six-hour bullshit outage

THE world’s population has been left struggling to function after a six-hour blockage of the pipes that spew bullshit into their faces 24-7.

Organising all their shit, and other things kids can do on Minecraft but apparently not in real life

YOUR child’s room is a shit tip, but their Minecraft inventory is meticulously organised into elements, ores and enchanted bullshit.