Science & Technology

CONSUMERS are rejecting electric cars for a variety of reasons, but it’s great news for right-wing blokes who’ve always hated these effeminate vehicles. Here Roy Hobbs explains why you shouldn’t buy one.

NO reprisal is too extreme for the subhuman scum who use their bright phones in dark cinemas. Even these punishments are entirely reasonable.

YOUR online Reply Guy, faithfully leaving a comment under every Instagram post, is always there for you. But what do his messages really mean?

THE re-election of Trump is definitely the internet’s fault in a way that has yet to be specified, everyone has agreed.

A WARM, loving message from a father is clearly a scam designed to trick his son out of money.

THE business-focused social media network LinkedIn has just begun an exciting new role rigging presidential elections in the United States. Click here to add your congratulations!

THE price of a good, solid shot of healthy human semen has risen by a full ten pounds to a princely £45 a time.