Science & Technology

'My phone is listening to my conversations', thinks woman who Googled that thing a week ago

A WOMAN who constantly feeds her phone personal information is convinced it is eavesdropping on her conversations.

The twat's guide to thinking you're making a difference with a bunch of stupid memes

IS your immediate response to important events to send out a picture with an unfunny caption? Here Martin Bishop explains how he’s changing the world one meme at a time.

Six household objects you'd like to physically fight

PHYSICAL objects are such aggravating bastards that sometimes you just want to punch them into little pieces. Here are six frequent offenders.

Man explaining non-fungible tokens to date still thinks he could score

A MAN who has spent 30 minutes explaining to his date what non-fungible tokens are is somehow under the impression that the evening is going well.

Six totally un-Christmassy things everyone does at Christmas now

BACK in the day you played with Lego, ate leftover turkey and watched Where Eagles Dare. But Christmas has changed irrevocably, and here’s what you do now.

12 ways to be a dickhead on Facebook this Christmas

FACEBOOK can be irritating at the best of times, but Christmas seems to bring out the worst in people who are already dicks.

'Alexa, get the wife something for Christmas' commands man

A MAN has outsourced the purchase of a thoughtful gift for his wife to a budget-priced artificial intelligence they keep in the lounge.

TikTok and other confusing youth things explained by a middle-aged man

DO you find the young people confusing and odd? Don’t worry – 48-year-old father-of-three Martin Bishop can answer your questions and make you trendy again.

Dad keeps password on Post-it beside computer

A FATHER who believes himself computer-savvy keeps a list of his passwords on a post-it note stuck to his monitor.

Soft porn and other things killed by the internet

THE internet has brought many gifts, like feuding with strangers and easy access to conspiracy theories. But it’s also killed off these treasures.