Alcohol

Everyone paying for what they had is a sign one person got shitfaced

WHENEVER a group of diners decide to pay for exactly what each has consumed it is because one of the group got f**king wrecked, it has been confirmed.

Wine aisle adorned with 'Back 2 Skool' signage

SUPERMARKET wine aisles are currently covered with the same ‘Back to School’ promotional displays as aisles selling pencil cases and backpacks.

Legend finds way to go hard and go home at same time

A MAN believes he has discovered a bold new frontier of nights out by going hard and going home simultaneously.

We ask you: what event are you pairing with this weekend's alcohol?

BLAZING sun compels every Briton to indulge in alcohol at an event designed for same, whether called ‘Trudy’s wedding’ or ‘Glyndebourne’. What’s yours?

BuzzBallz: Your guide to surviving the unprecedented threat of 13.5% alcohol

A DANGEROUS new novelty drink, BuzzBallz, is sweeping the UK, the media has warned us. So is there any way to prevent this sherry-strength alcopop ruining your life? Try these measures.

Man begins pre-drinks for Oasis gig

MINDFUL that there are only 55 hours to go before the first gig of the Oasis reunion, a man has started on pre-drinks this afternoon.

Banning alcohol adverts to instantly stop UK getting pissed

A BAN on alcohol adverts is guaranteed to make the British public immediately stop drinking permanently, it is believed.

Samuel Smith's pubs far f**king freakier than Wetherspoons, UK agrees

BRITISH drinkers have agreed both Samuel Smith and Wetherspoons pubs are freakshows with an alcohol license but the former has the edge.