Your local pubs, from worst to best

THERE are many pubs within walking distance of your home, but you only drink in one. Two at a push. Here’s why.

Hair of the dog: phrases to convince yourself to keep drinking like an idiot

NOT sure whether you need another drink or not? Utter one of these phrases and your doubt will instantly be washed away by another pint of lager.

Drinking at lunchtime: The dream versus the reality

ARE you tempted to have a lunchtime drink like some sort of effortlessly cool continental? Here's how reality will shit on your dreams of sophistication.

'May contain prosecco' t-shirts, and other ways Brits pretend their rampant alcoholism is fun

IT’S hard to believe, but we Brits like a few drinks. However the last thing we want to do is take punishing our livers too seriously. Here’s how to keep terrifying levels of alcohol consumption fun.

How to carefully mix your drinks for the ultimate all-day hangover

YOU'RE drinking tonight, but have you planned your alcohol consumption to create a hangover that will take you out for 24 hours? Follow this guide.

How to talk to an incredibly pissed person

YOU'RE out the pub when a pissed-up stranger, who seems to think he knows you, opens a slurred dialogue. Here's how to cope.

Is it your fault that last round cost £36 f**king quid? Take our quiz

THE drinks are in but the twat who paid for them looks f**king livid. Find out if their rage is your fault.

Snakebite, and other favourite cocktails of UK teenagers

FORGET martinis and mojitos, these are the vile concoctions generations of British teenagers have used to get tanked.

Inspirational man completely reverses effects of Dry January in single day

A MAN who gave up booze for a month has already successfully undone all of the positive effects of his abstinence.

Man's evening nightcap is four cans of Stella

A MAN has a 'nightcap' of four cans of Stella every night to help him relax before bed.