Alcohol

Prosecco and other fun drinks that become bleak as f**k when drunk alone

SOME drinks take parties to a new level but are tragic when knocked back alone. Avoid quaffing these during solo sessions.

Six great summer drinks you'll suddenly get horribly shitfaced on

A GOOD few spritzers at a garden party are harmless, right? You may revise that opinion after having a violent drunken row or blacking out and pissing your shorts. Here are some summer drinks to be wary of.

Five things you can't get through with a drink

ALCOHOL makes most of life’s problems easier, but it’s not a miracle cure. Here are five challenging situations it will not help you navigate effortlessly.

How not to chat up a woman when you're horribly pissed

ALCOHOL makes you better-looking and more interesting - that’s just a scientific fact. Yet somehow women don’t always fall into bed with you after nine pints. Here’s what to avoid.

British lunchtime drinking phrases: a translation

WORKING in Britain? Then a ‘swift half’ will be suggested at around noon. What does this really mean, and what will happen next?

Wave your debit card: the wanker's guide to getting served at the bar

LOOKING to get drinks at your busy local, and also a wanker? Follow these tips and you’ll have an irate member of staff pulling your pint in no time.

Five signs you're in a pub for dickheads

POPPED out for a pint but realised something feels a bit off? Find out if you are in a pub for dickheads with this guide.

Conversation should be impossible: How to make a bar truly hellish

DO you frequently wonder why noisy, unpleasant bars need to be quite so horrific? Here Martin Bishop, owner of shite cocktail bar Lorenzo’s of Stevenage, explains his craft.

Five elaborate cocktails that aren't as good as a pint

ON a night out? Fancy drinking something new and exciting? Do not bother with these elaborate cocktails that are not as good as a pint.

'Lightweight' friend only one without dysfunctional relationship with alcohol

A MAN described as a ‘lightweight’ by his friends is the only one in the group who does not have a f**ked up relationship with alcohol.