Alcohol

A LOOMING Guinness shortage will deprive millions of their favourite tipple, but don’t despair – following these simple tips will turn any pint into a Guinness.

TWO friends who have just finished their first bottle of Chardonnay have discovered they both hold the correct views on every subject there is.

SOULLESS pubs feigning a long rustic history always pull the same interior design crap based around the same few bollocks items.

APPRECIATORS of super-strength lager's complex flavours feel they have been ignored in Rachel Reeves’ budget. 

A MAN is not tight or anything, he just thinks it is daft to spend a fiver on a pint.

MORE than 60 per cent of craft beer is brewed by big bastard corporations rather than independent bearded wankers, research has found.

A GROUP of work colleagues have been assured by a co-worker that they can continue their drinking at a great bar situated a mere 45 minute walk away.

A NEW range of boutique 12 per cent lagers are the drink of choice for sophisticated urban professionals at upscale dinner parties.