Alcohol

A HUNGOVER woman is attempting to put together what happened last night using clues left in her home in the manner of a crime scene investigator.

THEY think they’re a cut above an ordinary boozer but the drinks on offer suggest otherwise. Here are the abysmal concoctions your local bar dares to call cocktails.

A COOL new bar has chosen to make its interior so dark and noisy that you are unable to look at or talk to people in it.

A MAN has maximised his drinking efficiency by sticking strictly to Monday-Thursday, leaving his weekends free for more rewarding pursuits.

BEEN out for a few bevvies? You have a number of options for disturbing your partner’s sleep when you finally stumble home.

HAVING a night out with your middle-aged mates? Expect these arseholes to turn it into a complete f**king nightmare.  

A MAN thinks all the staff at his local pub knowing his name makes him a well-loved neighbourhood face rather than a probable alcoholic.

A VITAL research project where scientists drank beer and had sex with partners of below-average attractiveness has proved beer goggles to be a myth.

A MAN is lavishing attention on his hangover and giving it everything it could possibly need no matter what the expense.

THE benefits of going sober are many and awful. Here are the dismal upsides to quitting alcohol that aren't really worth the effort.