Alcohol

Woman finally realises that champagne is revolting

A WOMAN who has spent her adult life pretending that champagne is marvellous and special has finally admitted it tastes like farty urine.

Microbrewery slammed for beer that tastes nice

A MICROBREWERY has been condemned by craft beer enthusiasts for brewing a beer widely popular for its pleasant taste.

'I hadn't had anything to eat,' confirms everyone who can't handle their ale

EVERYONE who gets pissed on a couple of drinks is continuing to insist it was because they had not had a proper meal that day.

Woman asks for Shiraz because she likes the name

A WOMAN has ordered a glass of Shiraz as she prefers its name to other wines.

How to survive being back at work and still hungover

ARE you feeling sh*t this morning after overdoing the booze all weekend? Here’s how to get through the terrifying day ahead. 

Wine connoisseurs 'missing entire point of wine'

SO-CALLED wine experts are misleading the public about the basic function of wine, critics have claimed.

Living life to the full 'not the same as getting p*ssed every day'

A CONTROVERSIAL new study suggests that leading a rich and full life might not necessarily involve getting sh*tfaced as often as possible.

Woman who refused large glass of wine knocks back four small ones in five minutes flat

A WOMAN who said she had better not have a large glass of wine was quite happy to get hammered on a sh*tload of small ones.

'I just can’t seem to lose weight' says man drinking 15th pint of week

A MAN has complained about his inability to lose weight, midway through his 15th pint of the week.

Five ways to get through alcohol-free evenings

HAVE you started having alcohol-free nights for the sake of your health and waistline? Here’s how to make it through these grim evenings from Hell.