BRITISH women have triumphed against their gutless continental counterparts in the global race to be the best binge-drinkers.
Women from these isles regularly down six drinks or more in a single session, and are matched only by permanently hammered Danish women in the battle to be most pissed in Europe.
Sue Traherne, who cleared two bottles of Pinot Grigio last night even though it was a Tuesday, said: “I knew I must be doing it for a reason.
“France? Bunch of so-called sophisticate wine-sippers. Germans? Two pints and their frauleins get frisky. Italians? Too busy talking. And forget the lightweights outside Europe.
“No, through years of dedicated drinking and mastery of the techniques surrounding it – urinating in taxi ranks, building boozing stamina with a kebab, fighting in the toilets – we’ve won through to become world champions.
“On holiday when I see the spiritless Spaniard, the abstemious American, the temperate Thai I sneer at all of them. They can’t get as pissed as I can. They’re not as pissed as I am right now.”
Romanian woman Paula Bruma said: “I am so jealous. I would give anything for such an epic blotting out of reality.”