Alcohol

Kanye West, and other celebrities who'd be a nightmare as regulars at your local

KIM Kardashian was recently spotted having a pint in a London pub. Which celebrities would ruin your local if they were always propping up the bar?

How to power through a pint that tastes like warm dog piss

ORDERED a pint only to discover it tastes bloody awful? Instead of sending it back, grit your teeth and suffer your way through all 20 disgusting fluid ounces with this guide.  

Calling it 'plonk', and other twee ways to disguise your dependency on alcohol

WANT to make your worrying thirst for booze seem harmless? Try these socially acceptable ways.

Three lunchtime pints cancelled out by cup of tea, man reckons

A MAN believes the three pints of lager he consumed at lunchtime had no effect due to the cup of tea he drank back at the office.

Trying to go gastro: Five death knells for your local pub

WITH pubs in the UK shutting down at an alarming rate, here are five traditional desperation measures that mean a boozer is about to close for good.

Suspiciously cheap pints and other ways Wetherspoons has you by the balls

YOU vowed never to return to one of Tim Martin’s watering holes, but here you are crawling back yet again. This is how Wetherspoons has you in a chokehold.

Freak actually follows through on only staying for one pint

A MAN who claimed he was only staying out for one pint has disturbed and frightened his friends by sticking to his promise.

Woman doing Dry January discovers she can make terrible life choices sober, too

A WOMAN who has not drunk for more than three weeks has been alarmed to find she can still make f**king awful decisions without touching a drop.

The risks of drinking you actually give a toss about, by pints consumed

BOWEL cancer isn’t a risk of drinking you’re worried about, but not being pissed enough by 11pm is. Here are the real risks of drinking ranked by how shitfaced you are.

Tell Dry January to go f**k itself by winning a case of Daily Mash beer

Win one of two cases of our limited edition Daily Mash beer, created in collaboration with Northern Monk, in our quiz about the three prime ministers of 2022.