Man sobers up for first time in two months

THE effects of alcohol have finally worn off for a man who has been pissed since the lockdown began.

Woman puts Threshers-worth of wine bottles in recycling bin

A WOMAN has emptied enough wine bottles to fill a Threshers into her recycling bin.

Six lockdown cocktails for this weekend

BINGE-DRINKING as usual this weekend? Freshen it up by mixing yourself one of these unprecedented-times-themed cocktails.

UK population now either total lightweights or permanently pissed

THE UK population is now either incapable of taking their drink or permanently wankered, research has confirmed.

The Wetherspoons regular's guide to daytime Zoom drinking

THE ‘Spoons is closed so there’s no longer anywhere to while away the day. Follow regular Norman Steele’s tips and turn your own home into a daytime chain pub.

Heroic woman risks life to buy essential box of wine

AN incredibly brave woman has risked catching coronavirus at the supermarket because she needed some wine.    

Britons enter fourth week of massive stay-at-home bender

BRITAIN’S population is staggering into the fourth week of its self-destructive lockdown drinking spree.

How to drink a bottle of brandy and draw tattoos on your arm with a biro

EVERYONE is struggling under lockdown, and everyone’s got tips to help. But have you tried downing a bottle of brandy while drawing tattoos on your own arms?

Britain poised and ready for daytime drinking

THE UK has confirmed that if events cause it to need to drink before noon, it is ready to shoulder that burden.

Britain to mark Friday by getting extra-hammered

THE UK is making sure it distinguishes the weekend from the rest of the week by getting really, really shitfaced.