Alcohol

Is your liquor cabinet fully stocked with undrinkable booze?

CHRISTMAS is coming, and with it the obligation to collect a large range of alcohol nobody truly wants. Go through our checklist.

If it's mulled it barely counts as drinking, confirm scientists

YOU can drink as much booze as you like during the Christmas period as long as it has been mulled, scientists have agreed.

Five lockdown cocktail ideas if you're completely f**king desperate

NEED a stiff drink but have nothing to hand as the next supermarket delivery slot is March 2021? Here are some emergency cocktails you can create with odd items you'll find kicking about the house.

I haven't had a drink all morning and I feel great!

I FEEL good, I feel clean. I have been a long 12 hours without alcohol, including being asleep. 

Man reaches 100th day of thinking about going teetotal

A MAN has reached the milestone of 100 days of considering quitting drinking.

Are you a craft beer ponce?

CAN’T enjoy getting rat-arsed unless you’ve paid £13 for bizarre fruits sourced from the hamlet of Little Flouncing to be added to your ale? You’re probably a craft beer dick.

Eight pints hailed as wonder drug

SCIENTISTS have discovered that eight pints of beer can have a significant theraputic effect on almost any ailment.

Sober October told to get f**ked

THIS year has been such a horrible disaster that no one wants to compound their suffering by doing Sober October.

Are you a freedom-loving Brit or just a massive pisshead?

SOMETIMES it can be hard to tell if you have a deep ideological belief in personal freedom or just like going out getting pissed.

Government launches 'Get Shitfaced at 11am to Help Out' scheme

THE government has countered its pub curfew by launching the ‘Get Shitfaced at 10am to Help Out' scheme to support hostelries.