A WOMAN who drank two bottles of red wine last night is determined to share her pain with everyone around her, it has emerged.
Charlotte Phelps enjoyed the bottles of Campo Viejo Rioja as a treat after a hard week at work, ruining the rest of her weekend, and her family’s, in the process.
Phelps said: “It worked really well as a stress reliever. Until I woke up this morning. And now the whole world needs to suffer.
“My husband clearly knew I’d be a f**king nightmare today, so he brought me some toast and tea in bed. Unfortunately, this just made me feel guilty for being hungover so I told him to stop being an obsequious shitbag.
“Then when I finally dragged myself out of bed the kids had the TV on loudly so I shouted at them for making too much noise and switched it off. Then they went on their iPads so I told them off for being antisocial and confiscated them.
“Lucky little bastards, not being old enough to drink. They’re part of this family, so they deserve to share my pain, as does the dog, my parents when they came round for lunch, and the Amazon delivery driver who rang the buzzer too enthusiastically.
“This must be someone else’s fault. Why would I inflict this on myself? That would be mental.”