Six useless ways you tried to hide the smell of weed as a teenager

DID you think a spray of Lynx Africa in a bedroom that pungently stank of weed helped? It didn’t. No doubt you tried these other tricks too:

Thinking pubs are too loud, and other real milestones of ageing

WHILE society might encourage you to mark the passing of time with birthdays, here are the real signs that you’re knocking on in years.

Five things still under a fiver

THANKS to inflation and quantative easing everything costs bloody loads now. These are the last five things you can still pick up for a fiver.

Five things that will shatter your hopes of a lie-in

EXHAUSTED and looking forward to an extra hour in bed? Here’s five reasons why it won’t happen this or any other weekend.

'100 per cent' and other annoying ways to tell someone you agree with them

WHY agree by saying 'yes' when you could annoy the crap out of someone by saying '100 percent'? Try these irritating affirmatives.

Middle-class family resentfully install pizza oven they're now required to have

A MIDDLE-CLASS family are fuming about the top-of-the-range pizza oven, complete with brick surround, that they are currently having built in their garden.

Woman shaves six milliseconds off time between putting on heels and regretting it

A WOMAN has scored a new personal best in her time between putting on heels for the day and deeply regretting it.

A lady never tells her age, says 25-year-old

A WOMAN who is only 25 bizarrely thinks it is her prerogative as a female to keep her age a closely guarded secret.

The five most terrifying things that happen in the first year of having a baby

HAVING a child is a life-changing experience. A mostly terrifying one. Here are five of the worst bits from year one, although there could be 50.

Five essential summer care tips for your goth

A HOT summer can be a testing time for goths. Follow our advice to ensure yours stays safe, but gloomy.