Lifestyle

The offie, and other places to be the victim of snarky comments from teenagers during the holidays

THE summer holidays mean gangs of teenagers congregating to hurl belittling comments at grown adults like you. Watch out for them in these places.

Being best man: Things people say are an honour but are actually a pain in the arse

BEEN asked by someone you love to do something special for them? Yep, it’s going to be a massive ballache with no benefit to you, isn’t it? Just like these ‘flattering’ offers.

How to fall out with your best friends forever by going on holiday with them

THINK going on holiday with your mates will be fun and relaxing? You’re wrong. Here’s why you’ll fall out after two days.

£150 champagne: The top 10 must-buy passive aggressive gifts

BEEN wronged by someone but don't know how to exact your petty vengeance? Get back at them with these emotionally manipulative gifts.

Buying something off Amazon: The six most dangerous activities according to your parents

NAVIGATING the modern world can be treacherous for many reasons. None of those reasons, however, are the ones your parents continuously warn you about, like these.

Life not worth living without Wilko, says Britain

THE UK has agreed that if Wilko goes under then there will be nothing left worth living for on this pathetic, godforsaken island.

Knightmare contestants, and other people whose lives peaked in childhood

THEY were the envy of the whole school when they were twelve, but for these people life was all downhill from that point.

No hobby as good as mindlessly staring at your phone

THERE is no hobby which can compete with staring vacantly into a mobile phone, experts have confirmed.

Bubble tea cafes and other shops men will never go into

MEN enjoy going to manly shops like Screwfix and the butchers. They will only enter these five establishments if they are dragged into them against their will.

Be clean but not an obsessive psycho about it: An honest flatmate ad

HI there! Our former flatmate’s moving out (all on good terms, just the usual deep-rooted resentment), and we’ve got a spare room.