Lifestyle

YOU used to have normal wet dreams about engaging in sexual acts with attractive humans. But now you’re middle-aged, this is what gets you hot.

YOU aren't just a woman who is engaged to be married, you are a bride! Here’s what you must now have a nervous breakdown over, according to a bridal magazine.

ONCE you leave a major city or town, the level of entertainment on offer falls off a cliff. Here’s what people in the middle of nowhere have to pretend to enjoy because it’s that or a Harvest Festival.

SUGGESTING without evidence that anyone you do not like is a paedophile is Britain's favourite pastime, it has been confirmed.

A HOT lady has been made all the more attractive with some silky pants that she has to constantly readjust due to them being f**king uncomfortable.

A WANKER with his wanky job selling a whole lot of wank somehow thinks that his wankology bears some resemblance to your job.

WANT to brag about your intelligence while showing actual smart people your true idiocy? Try one of these failsafe ways.

ALL couples think their wedding is utterly special and unique, but all they’ve done is choose ways to date it horribly. Like these.

TOWNS across the UK are holding traditional summer carnivals which should have died out with the medieval peasants who invented them. Here's why yours will be a huge bag of shite.

WOMEN across the country are remembering that they have legs – and f**king loathe them – due to the return of sunny weather.