Lifestyle

Six toys kids will play with for five minutes

WANT to amuse your children for up to 300 seconds? Buy them one of these hot items:

Downstairs toilet not for shitting in

A WOMAN has explained to her husband and two sons that the downstairs toilet is not suitable for them to do shits in.

Your guide to nodding along when you don't understand something

DO you frequently need to pretend to understand things at work or at home? Here’s how to nod along convincingly even though you haven’t got a clue, as usual.

Six ways to convince yourself being under 50 is very young

TOO young for a vaccine yet but actually deep into middle age? Here’s how to ignore annoying reality and convince yourself being slightly shy of 50 is practically being 25.

Five better places to put your money than a shitty 0.05% savings account

IT’S difficult knowing where to put your savings when interest rates can earn you up to 20p every few months. Here are five places to keep your cash for a larger return.

Woman who spills entire pint of milk burns down house rather than clean it up

A WOMAN who spilt a full pint of milk onto carpet has set fire to her own home rather than deal with cleaning up the f**king mess.

Six toys you never had as a child that left you scarred for life

DO you still have feelings of bitterness and resentment at not being bought certain highly desirable toys as a child? Read this list as a form of therapy.

How to get your fix of gossip during lockdown

BORED out of your mind? Starved of tittle-tattle? Here’s how to experience the incredible high of hearing gossip while you're shut indoors.

Yes, that's exactly the point, confirms childless woman accused of being selfish

A WOMAN who has been called selfish for choosing not to have children has happily confirmed that that was the whole point of her decision.

Completing a boxset and four other things that aren't achievements

IS watching hours of television a worthy achievement or a huge waste of time? The latter, obviously.