Couple with massive Edwardian house claim being cold all the time is part of its 'character'

A COUPLE claim that having to wear a bobble hat indoors all day is a desirable feature of their draughty old house.

It's mainly listening to bitching, therapists confirm

THERAPISTS have admitted that counselling is little more than being paid loads to listen to people slag off friends and family behind their backs.

Random man in club excellent addition to friend group

A MAN who sidled up to a group of friends and started dancing at them is now an indispensable and valued member of the group. 

Too early to tell if woman's nose ring is cool or a red flag

IT is too early to tell if a woman’s nose ring is a sign she is really cool or a warning to not even think about a relationship with her.

The Cenotaph, and other places Britons would like there to be a Wetherspoons

WETHERSPOONS has announced plans to open branches in Haven holiday parks. It’s a good start, but there are many more places where patriotic, booze-loving Brits would like to see a Spoons.

How to de-ice your car using nothing but your own urine, by a man

CAR iced up? No de-icer or scraper? Follow my advice and you’ll be back at the wheel in moments, using nothing but your own tool.

Woman listening to friend's problems interrupts to explain how she would have handled them better

A WOMAN listening to her friend’s woes has stopped her to explain how she would have dealt with the situation far more effectively.

Woman's freakishly long hair her only achievement 

A WOMAN with hair way down below her arse is convinced it somehow makes her special, she has confirmed.

The London Eye, and other things your London mates are too up themselves to visit

PLANNING to stay on an IKEA sofa in the tiny flat rented by a London mate? Here are six things they definitely won’t be going to during your visit.

How to guiltily explain to your millennial friends that your parents are buying you a house

HAVE you spent years moaning about being part of ‘generation rent’ but now your parents are bunging you some cash for a house? Here’s how to explain it to your pissed-off friends.