Lifestyle

Warhammer shop cancels beauty pageant

A POPULAR high street wargaming store has announced that the beauty pageant it was due to hold today has been cancelled.

Man's forehead simply growing

A MAN has countered allegations of hair loss by asserting that it only seems that way because his brow is growing by the day.

How to run your Dungeons & Dragons fairy porn campaign

ARE you playing dungeon master for busy working mums who just want to escape from it all and shag a centaur? Include these key points.

Lincolnshire, and other parts of the UK no one actually lives in

EVER met anyone from Lincolnshire? Can you even imagine saying ‘Where are you from?’ and the answer being ‘Warwick?’ No. These swathes of Britain are uninhabited.

Londoner exiled for taking driving lessons

A RESIDENT of London has been stripped of her status by presuming to learn to drive a car by which she might visit other places.

Mullet official non-binary haircut

GEN Z has confirmed the mullet is the official hairstyle of anyone who wishes to announce they stand outside of the gender binary.

Should you try being a fake military veteran? The pros and cons

A MAN has been exposed after posing as a veteran on Remembrance Sunday. But faking a military career is so popular you can’t help wondering if you should try it yourself. Let’s look at the pros and cons.

Teen worried that ear piercing makes him look a bit straight

A TEENAGER is anxious that his ear piercing gives the impression he is attracted to the opposite sex.

Dark evenings provide perfect opportunity to judge other people's living rooms

THE greatest benefit of darker nights is the chance to see into the crappy front rooms of other people and judge them.

Riding the whole Central Line: the ten most dogshit things to do in London

PLANNING a trip to the big smoke? Want that authentically wretched London experience the residents keep for themselves? Try these ten must-miss activities.