Lifestyle

Mum delighted by thoughtlessly expensive gift

A WOMAN is over the moon to have received a very expensive gift that is in no way personal to her.

Everyone only does a 'Friendsmas' once

PEOPLE only spend one Christmas with friends instead of family as it always ends in tears, arguments and alcohol poisoning, it has emerged.

A labradoodle instead of a donkey: The nativity if Mary and Joseph had been unbearably middle-class

IS it too much to ask for a nativity story that the financially comfortable can relate to? No. Let’s imagine the birth of Jesus if Mary and Joseph had arts degrees.

Charcuterie board just fancy Lunchables, woman realises

A WOMAN eating a grown-up, sophisticated platter of meats and cheeses has realised it is basically the processed snack she used to eat at school.

'My balls were about to rupture': The Guardian’s censored 'How we met' columns

‘HOW we met’ remains a popular feature in the Guardian's Lifestyle section, but some of the real-life stories were deemed too disturbing for readers. Here is a sample.

Seven seasonal sex positions to get you into the Christmas spirit

IT’S the time of year when everything must be Christmas-themed, including sexual intercourse. Try these red-hot positions that will jingle your bells or whatever.

Six hair mistakes from history Gen Z refuse to learn from

THE mullet is a warning from history, but for all Gen Z’s supposed social awareness it is a warning they have failed to heed. They are doomed to repeat these mistakes.

Neither minicab driver nor passenger actually wants to listen to Smooth FM

A MINICAB ride was ruined for both driver and passenger thanks to a radio station they both hated listening to.  

You're not a silver fox just because you've gone grey, man told

GOING grey does not automatically make you a mature object of desire, it has been confirmed.

The 10 best wanks of 2023

WE’VE all got our opinions on the best albums, films and TV shows of the year, but which wanks really stood out from the crowd in 2023? Here are our picks.