Man realises he would have bullied his teenage self too

A MAN looking back on a miserable adolescence ruined by bullies has come to the conclusion that, on balance, he probably deserved it.

Being in a band, and other things that cease to be cool in your 30s

CERTAIN things are the height of cool when you’re in your teens and 20s. But once you hit 30, they quickly become deeply, deeply tragic. Including these.

Man who can't grow beard not letting that stop him

A MAN who is only able to grow a few wisps of hair from the bottom of his face is not letting it stop him labelling himself as ‘bearded’, it has emerged.

Female record shop employee under pressure to be attractive in alternative way

A WOMAN working in an independent record shop is feeling pressured to be extremely attractive in a quirky and unconventional way, she has confirmed.

How to be shit at gossiping, by a man

DOES the minutiae of people’s personal lives somehow fail to grip you? It might be because you’re a man. Here Martin Bishop explains how to be useless at spreading tittle-tattle.

Couple conceive second child as long-term investment to stop first one hassling them

A COUPLE are having a second child because they are already bored rigid of having to play with their first one, they have confirmed.

Seven magical family days out by rail you'll spend at Euston Station

AFTER a chaotic Bank Holiday weekend, Euston was at a standstill again yesterday. But Network Rail keeps urging us to have family days out by train, so here are some great places you won’t get to.

Will you get laid before the election? A quiz

BRITAIN is due a general election this year and you’re overdue a bout of bedroom activity. But given widespread reluctance to call either, which will happen first?

'The females don their cock deely-boppers for the ritual to commence': Sir David Attenborough narrates a hen party

NATURALIST, naturist and national treasure Sir David Attenborough has turned his analytical eye to the brutal and feral rituals of the hen party.