Lifestyle

Man deliberately having bad day so he can get pissed and have a takeaway tonight

A MAN is intentionally ruining his day in order to treat himself to takeaway food and booze this evening.

The 90s and other things that aren't as good as you remember

EVERYTHING seems great in retrospect because your memory is flawed. These fond recollections were pretty shit in reality.

'Rather than buying and posting Christmas cards, we are spending the money on drugs'

THIS year, rather than spend money on the non-sustainable practice of sending Christmas cards, Annabelle and I have agreed to spend the money on drugs.

Do you live in a shitty new-build? Take our quiz

DO YOU live in a crappy little new-build house on an estate full of them? Find out with our quiz.

Completing a Panini sticker album: Childhood achievements you'll never improve on

DESPITE having two great kids, a decent career and a spouse you love, these pointless childhood successes blow them all out of the water.

Man opens door on advent calendar to reveal howling black void of consumerism

A MAN has opened the first door on his advent calendar to reveal a yawning black consumerist void demanding to be fed with money.

Six disgusting habits that you just can't stop

YOU know you shouldn’t do it, but you can’t help it. These are the gross habits you carry through life that are repulsive even to you.

How to waste your life browsing crap in charity shops

WANT to squander your one and only life while browsing other people’s unwanted tat? Here’s how to go about it in a charity shop.

Six guilty secrets your family probably don't need to know about

WE'VE all done things in our lives we're not particularly proud of. Here are some it’s best even your nearest and dearest never know about.

Where should babies be allowed? Two unreasonable idiots debate

MP Stella Creasy has sparked a debate about taking your baby to work. Here self-righteous mum Donna Sheridan and child-hater Roy Hobbs exchange unhelpful views.