Five items of clothing men shouldn't wear after they turn 30

HAVE your twenties disappeared into life’s rear-view mirror? It’s time to take these clothes to the charity shop, or better yet burn them.

The guns, and four other nicknames twats use for parts of their body

A certain type of arsehole can often be heard using these ludicrous nicknames for various parts of their anatomy.

Utter dicks to waste three days of sunshine on DIY

A LOAD of complete wankers are blowing a sunny bank holiday after lockdown on steaming off wallpaper or some shit.

The barefaced lies it's perfectly fine to tell your friends

HAVING friends can be a pain in the arse. Here are some porkies it's entirely acceptable to tell them to get them off your back.

Six day trips from your childhood to inflict on your kids this weekend

PLANNING a family day trip this weekend? Here’s how to perversely take revenge on your own children for all the crap day trips you had to go on.

Six horrific photos other people have of you

WE all have moments in our lives that we’d like to forget. Unfortunately, other people’s cameras ensure some moments will stay excruciating forever.

The best false economies for tight bastards

DETERMINED to save money at any cost? These ways to spend less will ultimately cost you shitloads.

Complaining about mixed-race families in TV ads, and other daytime gammon activities

DO you fill your time with activities many would consider boring, pointless and even downright racist? Here are the signs you’re a daytime gammon.

Mensa and four other organisations only pricks join

JOINING organisations can be a fun and sociable thing to do. Unless you choose one of these, which instantly mark you out as a bellend.

'How many units of alcohol do you drink per week?' and other panic-inducing questions

HERE are the simple questions that immediately send your stress levels sky-high.