Dungarees, and other items of clothing that make your partner want to dump you

DO you think you look arty and cool in your new dungarees? Your partner thinks you look like an embarrassing twat. Here are some other items of clothing likely to end your relationship.

Now pay £5.99 delivery, cackles evil bastard website

A WEBSITE has innocently taken a woman through the entire process of buying some photo prints, only to announce at the end that delivery is £5.99.

The twat's guide to driving in the countryside

WITH lockdown rules easing it’s time to go for a drive in the countryside. Here twat Martin Bishop explains how to be as much of a menace as possible.

Six shit things to have in your garden

SUMMER is nearly here and it's time to transform your garden into the envy of your neighbours. If your neighbours love things that are tacky and tasteless.

Five things you're totally free to talk about but probably shouldn't

NOT sure what you’re allowed to talk about in this supposed age of 'cancel culture'? These topics won’t get you no-platformed, but it’s still best to avoid them.

A full English and other ways to make your day a write-off

LOOKING to start your day in the worst possible way and get absolutely nothing done? Here’s how to go about it.

How to make sure your local park is middle class enough

DID you ignore your local park for decades until you were forced into using it by Covid? Here’s how to maintain standards now the sunshine has brought the riff-raff out.

Woman going to pub chooses perfect outfit to hide under big coat

A WOMAN visiting the pub has spent hours choosing just the right outfit for the evening, and has then covered it with a puffa coat.

A tiny biker jacket, and four other things to stop buying your baby you idiot

BABIES are adorable and rewarding, and if you dress them up like miniature bikers what’s wrong with you?

Six signs that you're no longer completely skint

MOVING up in the world? Splashing out on little luxuries, such as washing your hands in hot water? Here's some other signs that you're no longer flat broke.