Lifestyle

Vaguely in shape dad sets unrealistic beauty standard for men

A FATHER with only a slight paunch and moderately receding grey hair is setting unrealistic beauty standards for men, it has emerged.

How to get that hot Elon Musk look

HE’S the bullish tech billionaire turning heads and defunding federal agencies in the White House, but how can you capture that maverick Musk charm? Follow these tips.

Dickhead friend into nicotine pouches now

A MAN who is a sucker for new fads is espousing the joys of sucking on disgusting little nicotine pouches, it has emerged.

Walking five abreast while texting: your guide to being a tourist in Britain

YOU may behave rationally in your foreign cities, but once you visit our shores you become a tourist and must behave accordingly and annoyingly. Follow these rules.

Seven problems attractive people have you could probably cope with

ATTRACTIVE people get preferential treatment at work, research has found, but the gorgeous have replied that beauty brings its own issues. You feel you could cope with these.

Progressive man secretly loves tits and explosions

AN otherwise progressive man has admitted that he is still transfixed by boobs and enjoys movies with massive explosions.

Putting a condom on while maintaining an erection: sex challenges you can relate to

ONLYFANS stars are competing in sex challenges, but if your sex life is humdrum and you’re at best an average performer, less extreme ones are a lot more achievable.

Man's happy place is Screwfix

THE memory that makes a man feel most happy and at peace is of his local branch of Screwfix, it has emerged.

Women allowed to take cocaine if it ruins their life and they beg for forgiveness, says Daily Mail

IT is fine for a woman to use cocaine as long as it has horrifically awful consequences and she repents like a medieval witch, the Daily Mail has decided.

Teenager imposes £50 call-out fee to talk to parents

A TEENAGER will not come out of his bedroom and talk to his parents unless they pay a call-out fee of £50, it has emerged.