Lifestyle

PICKED up a nickname? Proud of it, even though it’s a glaring sign your life has taken a wrong turn somewhere? Any of these is a sign you need help.

A FASCINATION with Japanese culture is alternative and interesting in women and a sign of an aberrant personality and unhealthy sexual interests in men.

A MAN has bravely told his girlfriend how great her new pixie crop looks while pinching his inner wrist hard to hold back the tears.

A FOOL threw away his 20s predominantly sober while holding down a stable job and adult relationship, it has emerged.

GROUPS of middle-aged cyclists in Lycra are unhappy that motorised two-wheeled travellers in denim and leather are far more feared.

ZOMBIE knives in the news make you feel pathetically cosseted and middle-class. But by tweaking the facts, you too can have the benefits of a rough upbringing.

WHEN you’re achieving as much in life as me and Angela Rayner – for her being deputy Labour leader, for me rearranging bird ornaments – it needs to be documented.

DIGGING around in the foetid mud of the Thames among the accumulated rubbish of the past 200 years is a shit way to spend a Saturday, it has emerged.

STRUGGLING to chime in at the pub due to your terrible social skills? Make it through to last orders in one piece with this guide.