Relationships

How to put on a good show celebrating a wedding that will last three years maximum

WISHING you both a lifetime of happiness! Once you’re both past this mistake. Put a convincing tear in your eye for nuptials with a short shelf-life by following these tips.

Exes confident that hooking up will be harmless fun

A MAN and woman who used to be together are confident that hooking up will not go wrong in any way.

Single woman enjoying three weeks of friendship with recently dumped pal

A SINGLE woman is feeling blessed to have three whole weeks of companionship with a friend who is between relationships.

Men on lads' weekend making pathetic excuses to call the women they love

MEN on a boys-only getaway are concocting ridiculous reasons for calling the women they share their lives with so as not to lose face.

Bastard couple who've never worked on themselves in happy, loving relationship

A SICKENING couple who have never improved themselves in any way are in a committed, loving relationship.

How to spice things up in bed when you're really tired though, actually, with the Mash sex columnist

EXPRESSING your desire to take things up a notch in the bedroom when you’re wide awake with faith in your libido and/or dick is only the first step.

Woman desperate to live with her disgusting boyfriend

A WOMAN who luxuriates in clean towels, fresh linen and delicately scented candles is desperate to live with her foul, belching pig of a boyfriend.

Girlfriend's anecdote needs to be more second screen-friendly

A GIRLFRIEND’S anecdote needs to be simplified so that her boyfriend can follow it while looking at his phone, it has emerged.

Male terms of endearment, ranked

MEN cannot express affection towards other men and even choosing between a ‘mate’, a ‘dude’ or even a ‘fella’ is a minefield. Use this ranking to guide you.