Relationships

Why you shouldn't buy that thing you're sure you want. By your parents

WHAT are you doing? Don't buy that. Your frivolous purchase will be frowned upon, and your parents will sensibly explain why.

Six excuses to text your ex and tell them you're with someone else

THE break-up was tough. Working on yourself, ie wanking furiously, was even harder. But now you’re shagging someone new, better and you need your ex to know.

Is your girlfriend thinking of someone else in bed? Take our quiz

YOUR girlfriend is electric in the sack, but is it because she's imagining you're someone else? Take our quiz.

Premature baldness, and other features you're secretly delighted your mates have got

IT’S unfortunate when a friend suffers from one of these unattractive characteristics. But it’s also excellent that you look stunning by comparison, so don’t feel too bad.

Couple join '25 metre-down club' by having sex on tube

TWO young people who engaged in sexual activity on the London Underground have joined the illustrious ranks of the ’25 metre-down club’.

Woman fearful husband on verge of sleeping naked

A WOMAN is apprehensively waiting for the moment her husband decides to go to bed without wearing any pyjamas, it has emerged.

Man divides his age by two, adds seven, ignores result

A MAN debating whether to date a younger woman has done the necessary calculations then asked her out anyway.

Talk dirty about the Corn Laws: How to have a Regency period sex life like in Bridgerton

BRITONS love the sex in period dramas, particularly the frantic shagging in Bridgerton, set in the Regency era. Here's how to recreate the years 1811-1820 in your own bedroom.

Not being a total f**king moron, and six other ways to avoid falling for a romance scammer

HAS 26-year-old Natalia slid into your DMs again? Horny for you, is she? Horny in a keeps-needing-money way? These rules will keep your bank account as untouched as your genitalia.

Incel wondering if being even more self-pitying will get him laid

AN ‘involuntary celibate’ is wondering if women would find him attractive if he was even more of a morose loser.