Woman who suddenly started posting inspirational quotes has definitely been dumped

A WOMAN who started posting generic images with inspiring quotes written across them to Instagram has definitely been chucked.

Lucy Phipps stopped uploading the usual photos of herself at the gym and eating nice dinners in favour of phrases like ‘Where there is no struggle, there is no strength’ on top of a picture of a sunset.

Friend Sophie Rodriquez said: “She has one hundred percent been ditched. No woman starts plastering their social media with that kind of insipid shit unless she is on the edge of a mental and emotional spiral.

“It wasn’t initially clear at first, as ‘There’s a difference between giving up and starting over’ is pretty vague, as well as being utterly inane. But when she cracked out ‘Sometimes you’ve got to disconnect to introspect’, I just knew. Especially as it was accompanied by an image of a lone woman dancing on a beach.

“Since then it’s been wall-to-wall cheerful sunflowers and brooding mountains plastered with quotes that were initially coined by civil rights activists but have been co-opted by people who’ve been dumped after six months of on/off romance.

“I’m hoping she’ll soon move on from inner strength to drunken breakdown, as pictures of her shitfaced and crying in clubs will be more entertaining than this vapid nonsense.”

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Pensioners to hate Starmer regardless

BRITAIN’S pensioners have announced that they will continue to loathe Starmer even though he has bent to their whim.

The prime minister’s decision to ease cuts to winter fuel payments has done nothing to dim the burning contempt for him held by the nation’s senior citizens, who plan to carry on despising him in spite of the U-turn.

Pensioner Margaret Gerving said: “It’s a nice gesture, but I’m too committed at this point. Even if he bought back national service tomorrow and gave everyone over 65 a superyacht, I’d still detest him.

“If I struggle to remember the names of my grandchildren, there’s no way I’m going to remember that I don’t have to hate Starmer anymore. Us geriatrics will cling onto a grudge for as many years as we’ve got left, so he’s f**ked it.”

Retiree Bill McKay said: “Any rational person would be grateful that Starmer has listened to our grievances and course corrected. But you must remember we’re not rational people. We’re pensioners.

“Restoring our £300 payments has made me more furious than when he scrapped them. I’d grown fond of the idea of shivering away in abject poverty this coming winter and Starmer’s cruelly taken that away from me.

“It’s not too late for him to change his mind again and make this entire situation even worse.”