Swooning and other things women in romance books got away with

BOOKS can teach you a lot about the world, and more importantly the amazing shit women used to get away with back in the time of shirtless pirates.

Fresher confident long-distance relationship with school girlfriend will last

A FRESHER at the University of Sussex whose high-school girlfriend has just started Newcastle University is certain they will stay together.

Woman really horny for twenty minutes first thing in morning

A WOMAN has found she is super-horny for about 20 minutes straight just after waking up.

Scientists find straight men's standards 'even lower than we feared'

THE standards of heterosexual men when choosing a partner are much lower than previously feared, scientists have confirmed.

'I'm a free spirit' and other ways unreliable twats try to get away with always being late

UNRELIABLE flakes are masters of dodging the blame for their terrible timekeeping. Don't let them get away with these excuses.

When you're being dumped: the five worst times to run into your ex

HAVING a bad day? It’ll get even worse if you run into your ex. For maximum damage, cross paths with them on these occasions:

How to be in love with someone but never, ever let them know

DEEPLY and profoundly in love with someone? Terrified they’ll find out and reject you?  Here are five fool-proof methods of keeping your crush hidden.

Are you trapped in a happy, loving marriage?

IS your independence compromised by a stable, contented relationship with your spouse? These are the signs you’ve thrown away your selfish dreams to be happy.

How to get 100 per cent in Tinder: tips and tricks from an expert

TINDER, a romance simulator for adults, is the most popular mobile game of the 21st century. But how do you get to that elusive 100 per cent? Top player Ryan Whittaker explains:

Evil child ruins mum's morning coffee by existing

A FOUR-YEAR-old boy has deliberately ruined his mum’s cup of coffee by walking into the same room as her.