Relationships

DESPERATE to get your rocks off? Here’s why a good wank is a lot less hassle than a one-night stand.

A MAN is lying when he tells his girlfriend she looks ‘angelic’ while asleep, feeling she more closely resembles a dead animal.

THE clitoris is to be renamed in honour of the first man to ever find it.

THE effort and thoughtfulness a man puts into a date is directly proportionate to how long it is since he he last had sex, researchers have discovered.

WOULD you like to express your sexual interest in a woman? Try these six locations where she definitely will not want to hear about it.

ADULT siblings who claim to like each other are lying about it, new research has shown.

IT’S best not to have sex until you’ve graduated, got a job and bought a house, explains mum Helen Archer, who only has daughter Emily’s best interests in mind, obviously.

IT can be hard to control yourself at the height of sexual passion, but it’s worth thinking before opening your mouth, if you’ve got time. Do not shout any of the following.

A MAN has expressed his irritation that his wife’s masturbation is considered erotic, whereas his is not. 

A WOMAN who refers to her deeply tedious husband as her ‘Prince Charming’ has very strange standards, her family and friends have concluded.