Relationships

A WOMAN is telling an anecdote which appears, to all listeners if not to the speaker, to be about what an arsehole she is.

ROMANTIC beach walks are the ideal date, unless the beach in question is South Shields. These activities lose their Instagram sheen the moment you step on broken glass.

A COUPLE have announced they have gone exclusive, to the shrugging apathy of their family and friends.

A CARING, thoughtful husband has come back from the shops with a box of tampons that would barely work for a minor nosebleed.

THOM’S a millennial. His date Olly is the even more annoying Generation Z. But can they overcome their natural distrust and forge a union?

AS FATHERS Day looms, Britain is trying its hardest to think of any occasion where their fathers did anything worthy of recognition or gratitude.

A HUSBAND who discovered his wife had been having a year-long affair was relieved to finally admit he broke a mug while unloading the dishwasher.

YOUR girlfriend’s inability to walk alongside you without barging into you every few seconds is actually an act of love, according to experts.

A COUPLE trying for a baby tried a creditable five times in the last 24 hours using a variety of techniques, they have confirmed.

GETTING married? Invited unmarried friends just to rub their shameful single noses in it? These little touches will send them home weeping that they’ll die alone.