UNSURE if you’re being chatted up or consigned to the friend zone? These telling phrases mean it will never, ever turn physical between you:
‘You’re sweet’
The linguistic equivalent of a pat on the head. Nobody in the history of humanity has purred the words ‘you’re sweet’ into the ears of their crush before pushing them onto their bed and going at their genitalia, so if you hear this don’t kid yourself into thinking you’re the exception. It also implies you’re kind of dim.
‘You’re like a brother to me’
Unpacking this compliment like a cryptic crossword clue? The word to focus on here is ‘brother’. The speaker has deliberately chosen this word because it is familial, therefore placing you sexually off-limits. Notice she didn’t say ‘oiled up Adonis’ or ‘f**king hot piece of ass’, which may have suggested that you were in with a chance.
‘You’re cute’
Sounds promising, right? American teens say this to each other? You are neither American nor a teen, however, and this adjective has been chosen for its neutering quality. It was said in the condescending tone of a parent who’s been handed a particularly awful drawing by their child. Cease leaning in for a kiss immediately and begin apologising.
‘My friend finds you attractive’
A classic deflection dressed up as a compliment. Whether or not her friend finds you attractive is up for debate – she doesn’t – but the message is to refocus your romantic attention onto a third party. Meanwhile, while you’re distracted, the speaker will be diving into the nearest Uber and begging the driver to floor it.
‘You’re such a gentleman’
Chivalry is dead for a reason: it doesn’t get you sex. Despite knowing better, women are still drawn to bad boys over well-mannered foppish types. Being a ‘gentleman’ in these circumstances means she’s aware you’re attracted to her and is grateful you’re too cowardly to ever make a pass.
