Couple affronted by idea of scheduling sex never f**k

A COUPLE who thinks scheduling lovemaking is shamefully bureaucratic never, ever have sex, it has emerged.

Liking the same band as you, and other things you wrongly interpreted as flirting when a teen

DID you interpret your teenage crush’s every utterance as a chat-up line? These basic human behaviours were not their subtle way of pledging eternal love.

Middle-aged mum in new relationship distressingly keen to tell you about her sex life

A MIDDLE-AGED mum who recently met someone new online is horrifically enthusiastic about telling her children how satisfying her sex life is.

Five things you no longer care about if you're getting laid regularly

THE world is full of deeply concerning issues. However you’ll instantly forget about these if you’re satisfyingly shacking up three times a week.

Moving house is too much hassle, and other crap reasons not to dump your partner

DISSATISFIED with your partner and vaguely thinking about breaking up with them? Here are some crap reasons to convince yourself to stay:

Are you regrettable one-night stand material? Take our quiz

HAVE you got what it takes to be a lamentable one night stand?

Woman reluctant to believe only way to one true love is dating loads of wankers

A SINGLE woman is struggling to accept that to find ‘the one’, she must first spend years of her life enduring the company of supreme twats.

An £80,000 car and Ray-Bans: a man explains what women look for in a dating photo

HEY ladies. It’s me, the guy on every dating app with the bio ‘just want someone who doesn’t take life too seriously’. I’ve put these things in my pictures to drive you wild.

Teen caught watching PornHub made to watch every video as punishment

A TEEN caught watching PornHub by his parents has been made to watch every video on the site to teach him a lesson.

How to lose an argument with your partner

LOCKED in a war of words with your partner? Ensure you inevitably lose yet again by following these tips.