They're fatter than you: five constructive ways to compare yourself to your friends

COMPARING yourself to friends can depress you unless you focus on their worst aspects, such as these flaws.

Five anecdotes you've heard your partner tell 5,000 times

THERE are some go-to stories your other half cannot resist shoehorning into conversations. Here are five tales which will make your eyes roll so hard you’ll get dizzy...

The six horrifically pervy things men say to ruin their chance of sex

MALE? Every wondered why a seemingly sure thing suddenly evaporated? It’s because you said this.

Man's chivalrous offer of coat to cold date ruined by her acceptance

A MAN'S gallant offer of his coat to a chilly date has backfired by her accepting and wearing it.

In a car park, and four other grim as shit places to have your first kiss

FIRST kisses are awkward, unsatisfying and not very romantic. So it makes sense they take place in these grotty locations.

Husband on date night thinks he could be in here

A MAN on a date night with his wife reckons that with the amount she is flirting and drinking his luck may well be in.

Best friend's success 'utterly selfish'

A MAN has described the recent incredible success of his closest friend as 'sickening' and 'completely selfish'.

Parents of fresher f**king way more than he is

THE parents of an 18-year-old who has left home for university are shagging way much more than he could ever hope to be.

Swooning and other things women in romance books got away with

BOOKS can teach you a lot about the world, and more importantly the amazing shit women used to get away with back in the time of shirtless pirates.

Fresher confident long-distance relationship with school girlfriend will last

A FRESHER at the University of Sussex whose high-school girlfriend has just started Newcastle University is certain they will stay together.